The Stars Walk Backward
by Calla3131
Summary: *All Human* The ambitious Sydney Sage has plans, and none of them include a guy like Adrian Ivashkov. But, as she soon discovers, life never goes quite like we plan.
1. Prologue

… **..**

 **First of all, thank you all so much for choosing to read my story! I hope that you enjoy it. As an initial disclaimer: these characters really belong to Richelle Mead; I am simply borrowing them and changing a few things about them to suit my needs.**

 **Secondly, this is a human story. No Moroi/Strigoi/dhampir. Also, warning: some of the characters may seem slightly OOC. I took artistic license and changed up a few things here and there to fit the storyline better. I hope you can forgive me!**

 **You'll notice that throughout the chapters, there will be songs bolded and in parentheses. These are just songs that I thought fit well in that part of the story; kind of like songs playing in the background of a TV show. Feel free to listen to them as you read, but if nothing else, maybe you'll find a cool new song to enjoy. And if you have any good song suggestions, I'd love to hear them!**

 **Lastly, please leave a review, even if it's just one word. I would REALLY appreciate it!**

… **..**

 **Prologue**

 **(Be Still by The Fray)**

Airplanes… a necessary evil.

Logically, I knew that air travel was actually even safer than driving a car. Then again, that was based on statistics and everyone knew that _far_ more people drove cars every day than flew in an airplane. So, when you really compared the numbers…

 _This isn't going to help. Think about something else._

I glanced at my watch and inwardly groaned. Or maybe it was outward as well. Either way, we still had four hours left. And then as soon as we landed, I would have to board another flight. But at least that one wouldn't be over the ocean.

"Nervous flyer?"

I looked over at the man sitting next to me. He'd boarded late and this was the first good look I was actually getting of him. I thought that he was tall, but it was hard to truly judge when he was sitting down. He was definitely well off, and I didn't just think that because he was sitting in first class; the gray suit that he wore was tailored exceptionally well. Custom-made, most likely. His blonde hair was styled well – with less on bottom and more on top, combed over and stuck into place with gel.

And he was most definitely flirting with me.

Cautiously, I answered him. "I don't fly much."

He made a face of faux jealousy. "Lucky you. I fly pretty frequently for my job. I'm a corporate lawyer."

The expectant look that he gave me meant that he was waiting to hear about what _I_ did. In the interest of being polite, I told him. "I just finished up my master's degree at Oxford."

His hazel eyes widened in surprise. Whether it was that he hadn't expected me to be a student or that he hadn't expected me to have studied at one of the most prestigious colleges in the world, I didn't know. "Wow. What did you study?"

If he had been surprised that I had studied at Oxford at all, he was going to be even more surprised by my field. "Chemistry."

But, of course, he would use that to his flirting advantage. Flashing me what had to be his most flirtatious smile, he asked, "And what can you tell me about chemistry?"

How was I even supposed to respond to that without seeming like I was flirting back? Because I definitely didn't want to flirt back.

 _Just don't_.

Stupid me grasped at the first thing that I could find. "You're reading a magazine."

He looked down in surprise at his issue of _Men's Health_ , as if he'd forgotten that he'd been reading it. "Um… yeah."

 _How did I ever get accepted into Oxford?_ "I read magazines sometimes."

The look that he was giving me indicated that he regretted trying to flirt with me. Obviously, he thought that I had some kind of mental disorder. Hell, maybe I really did. I hardly knew myself anymore.

"Cool," he finally said and forced a smile before looking down at his magazine and picking up wherever he'd left off.

I looked out the window to hide my flaming face from him. When, exactly, had I lost all of my social skills? I had a feeling that I actually knew the answer to my own question, but I wasn't ready to go there. Perhaps I never would be. I just had to take it one day at a time and let things happen.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep and only awoke when the plane slammed against the ground. At least, that's what it _felt_ like. In reality, we touched the ground normally and made our way towards the actual airport. All around me, other passengers were waking up and preparing to get off of the plane. A lady across the aisle from me was touching up her lipstick. The guy next to me was putting away his laptop and magazine. I decided not to say anything to him.

Once the plane had stopped and we all had permission to begin gathering our things and exiting, I eagerly stood and shouldered my backpack. It felt so good to be back on solid ground and I thought that the airport was quite the sight for sore eyes.

The feeling didn't last long, however, because I realized that I was back in New York City and that sent my stomach to churning. I did my best to push the emotion aside and while that worked as I figured out where I needed to go to board my connecting flight, it didn't work so well once I had taken a seat to wait on boarding to begin.

I tried so many things to try to take my mind off of the feelings – scrolling through all of my social media accounts, watching movie trailers, and reading a bit of the book that I'd been trying to read – but nothing worked. I cursed myself for not thinking about how it would feel to be back in NYC. Really, it had been quite careless of me.

I was so relieved when boarding finally began that I was the first one in line to board. I eagerly took my seat on the plane and focused on anything and everything to take my mind off of my crazy emotions. Eventually, I resorted to watching each person as they boarded and making up a story about them in my head.

That lady in the dark sunglasses was a TV actress and was on her way home from an audition in the big city.

That little girl was going to stay with her grandparents in Montana for the summer.

That guy in the horrid patterned shirt had come to the big city as a tourist. Regularly, he worked as an accountant in a small town in Kentucky.

Finally, everyone was on board and had taken their seats. Not long after that, the plane was pulling up into the sky, leaving me clutching the arm rests of my seat. Even when the plane finally leveled out and the seatbelt sign was off, my discomfort did not ease. I wouldn't feel at ease until I was done with flights for a while.

Fortunately, that happened two and a half hours later.

As the captain welcomed everyone to St Louis, I eagerly unbuckled my seatbelt and prepared to get off of the plane. Hopefully that would be the last plane I would have to be on for quite a while.

The airport in St Louis wasn't nearly as crowded as the one in New York had been, and it didn't take me long to find the baggage claim. There, I waited for half an hour until I finally spotted my two suitcases rolling towards me. Once I had grabbed them off of the belt, I made my way towards the car rental area, following the signs the whole way.

The car rental agent was a kind, elderly woman of about seventy or so. She made small talk as she took my ID and let me read over the rental agreement. After she'd taken my credit card as payment, she called for a young man to take me to my car, which was a black Honda Civic. The guy helped me load my suitcases and then handed me the keys with a kind, boyish smile.

It had been a while since I'd been behind the wheel of a car, but I fell into it easily enough. Then, it was only a matter of navigating myself through St Louis. Luckily, I remembered the city that I had grown up in very well and I didn't even need the GPS. Things had certainly changed – there were more buildings than I remembered and a few places had changed ownership – but the most important things had remained the same.

 **(Welcome Home by Radical Face)**

That included my parents' house.

They lived in a modest, two-story house made of red brick. The lawn was perfectly manicured, the flower bed bright and colorful. My mother certainly had a green thumb that I hadn't inherited. There were three cars in the driveway and I sighed as I parked along the curb so as not to block their way. I had told my parents not to make my homecoming a big deal, but they had obviously invited my three brothers and their spouses to help celebrate my return. So much for going straight to bed to recover from the flights.

As I got out of the rental car, the front door of the house opened and out poured my entire family. A small smile tugged at my lips; they hadn't even been able to wait for me to walk into the house.

The first one to reach me was my brother, Liam. We'd always been the closest of the Sage siblings and I found myself fighting back tears as I hugged him tightly. I hadn't realized quite how much I'd missed him until he was right there, telling me how much he'd missed me.

The next few minutes were a flurry of greetings and meetings and hugs. My mother began crying at some point and it was all that I could do not to join her. Thankfully, my father gently pulled her towards the door and asked my brothers to bring my luggage inside and up to my old room.

A few decorations had been updated but, all in all, the inside of the house had remained as much unchanged as the outside. Something about that familiarity was so comforting to me. It was a wonder that I didn't break down right then and there.

My mother had fixed her famous lasagna for dinner and I took my place at the table between two of my new sisters, Carly and Zoe. They were eager to talk to me and learn about me, and I was just as excited to meet them and get to know them. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to make it to any of my brothers' weddings. Their spouses seemed perfect for them, though, and I made sure to tell them all how very happy I was for them.

The conversation occasionally turned to me and what I had been up to in the years that I'd been away, but I always artfully turned the conversation back to them, claiming that nothing interesting had happened in my life. I could tell that some of them – particularly Liam – didn't completely buy it, but they played along for the moment.

After the lasagna, my mother served my favorite strawberry cake and gave me the first piece. I felt like I was being treated better than I deserved, but my mother wouldn't hear of it and insisted that I deserved it.

If only she knew…

After all of the dishes had been cleared away, I said that I was tired and wanted to go to bed. "It was a long flight. And the time zone change is really messing with me."

"Of course." My mother was immediately full of sympathy and ushered me to the foot of the stairs. "You sleep as long as you need to. We'll see you in the morning. How do pancakes sound?"

I smiled and let her hug me. "Sounds wonderful. Can't wait."

I hugged everyone else and then found my old room looking exactly the same as the day that I had left it. Even my books were still in order on the shelf. It was like nothing had even been touched, though I was certain that my mother had still washed the sheets and cleaned occasionally.

My bags were waiting at the foot of the bed and I immediately grabbed what I needed for a shower. I had hoped that the warm water would wash away the stress and tension in my body, but it didn't help much. I was still worked up from my brief time in New York City.

Even after I'd changed into comfy pajama pants and a T-shirt, pulled my damp hair into a messy bun, and used a face mask, I still couldn't relax. I was wound up far too tightly to go to sleep, so I decided to go out and sit on the front porch for a while. Maybe being outside would relax me enough to be able to go to sleep.

I wasn't that surprised to find Liam already there, rocking in one of the wooden rocking chairs that our grandfather had made by hand years before. We'd used to hang out together on the porch all of the time in high school.

He didn't seem surprised to see me, either. "Hey."

"Hey." I sat down in the other rocking chair. "You didn't go home like everyone else?"

"My wife and I live in Atlanta now." That news surprised me and he laughed at the look on my face. "You've been gone for a long time, Syd. Things have changed."

"She's the lawyer, right? Sorry, I'm just meeting all of them at once…"

He nodded and ran a hand through his light brown hair. "She's a lawyer. A criminal lawyer, at that. I think she wants to be a judge someday, but who knows. What about you? What have you been up to?"

"Finishing up my masters at Oxford."

The grin that he gave me was one full of teasing and pride. "I always knew you'd be the most successful of all of us. Lee's a detective, Lance is an FBI agent, and I'm just an accountant."

"Which always shocked me, by the way. You used to be terrible at math."

He shrugged and let out a sigh. "I really never knew what I wanted to do with my life. I don't even remember how I picked accounting. I think I may have closed my eyes and randomly pointed at a list of the majors."

I laughed at the image and honestly wouldn't have been too surprised by that. "Well, you've done quite well for yourself."

"Not as well as others." He gave me a pointed look. "Valedictorian of your senior class. Full ride scholarship to several Ivy League colleges. Bachelor's degree from Columbia University. Graduated with all kinds of honors. Rhodes Scholar. Degree from Oxford. Are you done there or are you going to cure cancer, too?"

The praise made me uncomfortable and I picked at my cuticles. "Probably not. I still have the Rhodes Scholarship for one more year, so I think I'm going to do another degree at Oxford."

"Of course you are." His voice was full of sarcasm, but I could tell that he was proud of me. "Two degrees from two of the most prestigious colleges out there isn't nearly enough. You're some kind of genius, you know."

"I'm not a genius." A genius would have made better life choices. A genius wouldn't be where I was at emotionally. A genius would have known better.

"That's not what your IQ says."

I made a noncommittal noise in my throat and looked out at the street. It was dark and the streetlights cast oddly-shaped circles on the blacktop. A white cat ran into the bushes at the house across the street. Somewhere, a car horn blared.

After several minutes of silence, Liam said, "So, tell me what's really going on."

I looked over at him, our green eyes meeting. "I don't know what you mean by that."

He didn't believe me. Rightly so. "You leave to go to Columbia and basically excommunicate yourself from our family. And now, suddenly, here you are. Staying a whole summer with Mom and Dad. Not that they're not awesome, but it's all so sudden. I have a hard time believing that something else isn't going on."

I tried to buy myself some time to think of something to say to that. "Really?"

"Really." He nodded. "And you seem… different. Sad, somehow."

"Maybe you should have been the detective instead of Lee," I told him drily.

"I'm sure Lee noticed it, too. He's just not likely to say anything. I'm the one that's always been super close to you. So… Tell me all about it."

Liam may have only been twenty-four, but sometimes I thought that he had the wisdom of a middle-aged man. He'd always been very good at reading me, and I was partly glad and partly annoyed that he still was. "What am I supposed to tell you?"

"Everything," was his request. "But hold that thought for a minute, okay?" He stood and made his way inside.

In his absence, I contemplated what, if anything, to tell him. The truth was hard. Not because I thought that he would judge me harshly and never want to see me again, but because it would be hard to talk about.

 _Maybe it would help to talk to him. You used to talk to him about everything, after all. You've always trusted him more than anyone else in your family. And it can't be healthy to keep this all to yourself. You need to talk to someone eventually or you'll go crazy. So, you might as well talk to your brother. You know he won't make it too difficult on you._

I'd just made the decision when Liam came back out onto the porch carrying two cans of Coke and several bags of snacks. White cheddar popcorn, Lays BBQ chips, animal crackers, and some snack I had never even heard of.

"We can't have a good talk without snacks," he said by way of explanation as he set the bags down on the table in the middle and slightly behind the rocking chairs. "I have a feeling that this is going to take a while. I mean, you've been gone for four years. A lot can happen in four whole years."

"It's a long story," I warned him and popped the tab on my Coke. "And I mean _long_. We may be here until the sun comes up."

"It's been a while since I've pulled an all-nighter," he said in approval, opening his own can of Coke. "It'll keep me young."

The bubbles burned against my tongue. "I don't even know where to begin." There was so much to the story.

Gently, he reached out and touched my hand. His smile was soothing. "Start at the very beginning. Tell me everything."

Something about the look that he was giving me gave me the courage that I needed. After a deep breath, I nodded. "Okay. I guess it all started when I went off to start school at Columbia…"

He nodded to show that he was listening and settled in for the long story.


	2. Chapter 1

…

 **Apparently I posted the prologue again when I actually meant to post this… Thanks to the viewer that pointed it out to me! I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention!**

 **Thanks for coming back for the first chapter! I hope that you enjoyed the previous prologue and that you enjoy this even more. Also, a big thank you to those of you that reviewed and/or subscribed. It means a lot to me and I really appreciate it!**

 **Enjoy!**

… **..**

 **Chapter One**

 **(The Middle – Jimmy Eat World)**

I woke up far too early for my first day of classes at Columbia University. I'd been awake since three a.m. and had finally decided to get out of bed at five. After making sure that my backpack was packed accordingly, I went and took a long shower, hoping that it would make me feel a little better and more relaxed.

It didn't.

Once my blonde hair was dried and straightened, I grabbed the outfit that I had picked out for the day – a brown, willowy skirt and a fancy pink tank top. With a careful hand, I did my makeup. I wanted to look perfect for my first day of classes at an Ivy League college.

Once six-thirty rolled around, I grabbed my backpack and made my way towards the cafeteria. A meal plan was included in the full ride scholarship that I had gotten, and I planned to take advantage of it. My spending money would be coming in the form of five hundred dollars a month from my parents and another five hundred a month from my job as a research assistant for one of the chemistry professors. It had been a stroke of luck to get that job, really. In addition to that monthly income, I had a savings account that I had been working on building for years. I'd always known that I wanted to go to college out of state, so as soon as I'd been able to get a job, I had started saving. Books and the suchlike were bought with the college fund that my parents had given me when I'd graduated high school.

I was so nervous that I didn't want to eat anything, but I forced myself to at least take a few bites of the French toast. I was going to need to keep my energy up to make it through the long day. All of my classes were on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Tuesdays and Thursdays would be for studying and doing my lab time. Weekends would be free, but also mostly for studying and doing my homework. I had it all planned out.

After I had also forced myself to eat some of the strawberry yogurt I'd grabbed, I threw the rest of the food away and then began to walk to my first class, Introduction to Cell Biology. It was going to be my easiest class, I knew. While in high school, I had taken several college classes. I'd also passed a few of the AP exams, meaning that I got even more credit for college. So, at eighteen, I was starting as a college sophomore. Most of my basic classes were already out of the way, which was both a good and bad thing.

On the way to class, I received a call from my mother and I answered it with a smile on my face. "Hey, Mom."

"Hey," she said, and her voice was so comforting to me. Already, I missed her. "I just wanted to call and wish you good luck on your first day. Are you headed to class?"

I moved out of the way of a big group of students talking with each other. "Yeah. I should be there a few minutes early. I'm surprised that you're up already." My mother had a graphic design business that she ran from home, and she hadn't been working as much lately.

"I wanted to make sure that I had the time to call you before your first class. I've always wished you good luck on your first day of school. This is just the first time that you're states away from me." I could hear the sadness in her voice.

All of my brothers had gone to college in St Louis and they all still lived there as well. I was the only one that had decided to go to college so far away from where I'd grown up, in between all the bouts of moving around.

"Don't be sad," I warned her. "If you cry, I'll probably cry. And I don't need to be that weird girl in class that's been crying before class even starts."

"I know. I know." She sighed. "You've settled in okay? There's nothing you need? We can send you anything you need."

I didn't bother telling her not to worry; she always worried and fretted. "You and Dad have already bought me everything I could possibly need for my room. I have everything that I need. And we agreed that you guys were only going to give me five hundred dollars a month. The check that you sent with me was for a thousand."

"I thought you might need stuff."

"You guys don't need to be spending that kind of money." They weren't poor by any means and they'd been smart spenders all of their lives, leading to a substantial savings, but they needed that for retirement. "You already gave me a big college savings account."

"There's nothing I'd rather spend it on. And we gave _all of you_ college savings accounts. All of them were twenty thousand dollars. We planned that out long before you were even born. Spend it wisely."

"You mean _save_ it wisely," I corrected. I had my father's frugality.

She laughed. "You sound so much like your father."

I reached the building that my class would be in and stopped just outside, watching other people go in. "I'm at the building for my first class, so I have to go."

She sounded sad again. "I still can't believe that my baby is going to an _Ivy League_ college. I hope you know how proud of you we are."

"I know." She told me so all of the time.

"Good. I love you so much. Have a wonderful first day of classes."

"I will. And I'll call you when they're all over to tell you how they went." I knew that if I didn't, she would just call me. Either way, we would be talking tonight.

"Perfect. Talk to you then."

"Bye," I said and hung up.

There were already several people in the classroom and I took a moment to stand there and look at how the room was set up. Each table had four seats, probably to give an even number of partners. I decided to sit at the table where two other girls already sat, talking and laughing with each other.

One of the girls looked like she could have been a model, but I respected her for choosing not to. She was tall and slim and dressed rather elegantly in a floral dress that somehow suited her perfectly. Her skin was fair and flawless, and her platinum blonde hair fell in perfect curls to the middle of her back.

The other girl was a perfect contrast – not quite as tall and much curvier. Her straight brown hair was so dark that it almost looked black. She was dressed in an almost seductive manner, as evidenced by the two guys on the other side of the room that were staring at her with open mouths.

Slowly, I sat in one of the chairs on the opposite side of the table from them. "Hi."

The blonde one spoke first, giving me a kind smile. "Hello. I'm Lissa Dragomir." She held out a hand to me. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," I said, relieved that she at least seemed nice. "I'm Sydney Sage."

"Rose Hathaway," the other girl said.

"We've been friends since kindergarten," Lissa told me.

That certainly explained the bond that the two of them clearly had. "Wow." The only friends I'd had since I'd been in kindergarten were my brothers. My family had moved around a lot because my father had worked for the state department.

Rose tossed her hair over her shoulder and asked, "What are you majoring in?"

"Chemistry."

Lissa's eyes widened slightly. "Then you're good at chemistry?" Before I could answer, she scoffed at herself. "Of course you are, or you wouldn't be majoring in it. Rose and I have to take chemistry this semester and we're both horrid at it. Would you mind helping us out?"

Lamely, I felt my heart soar at the thought that I had made friends so quickly. I'd been afraid that I wouldn't be able to make any friends. "I'm very good at chemistry. And I'd be happy to help you, if you need it."

"We do." Rose rolled her eyes fondly at Lissa. "Lissa insisted on becoming a nurse and since I can't do anything without her…"

"I'm still shocked that Rose agreed to major in nursing," Lissa told me honestly, ignoring the look that Rose was giving her. "She's a great friend, don't get me wrong, but the caretaker thing doesn't really suit her."

"I like the medical part of it," Rose said by way of explanation. "I'm hoping that the rest just falls in. Besides, I don't know what else I would major in. I didn't even want to go to college, but Dimitri insisted." At my confused look, she explained, "Dimitri is my boyfriend. He's a few years older than me and works as a police detective. He encouraged me to go to college."

"Good for him," I said. I thought that everyone should at least try college before deciding what they wanted to do with their life. I was a big believer in the importance of education. Too many uneducated people were running around causing problems already.

"You should see them," Lissa told me, giving her best friend a teasing smile. "They're the cutest couple ever. They work out together and have the funniest conversations."

"At least we're not gross like you and Christian are sometimes." Rose wrinkled her nose in distaste and addressed me. "She's been dating her boyfriend, Christian, for three years now and they're still not out of that honeymoon stage yet. It's PDA all of the time."

Lissa blushed very prettily. "So, Sydney, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Oh, no," I answered her. "I've never had that much time for boys." In high school, I had been far too preoccupied with getting into a good college to worry about dating. Any time that I wasn't working or volunteering, I was at home reading one textbook or another, studying. It had paid off in the end, though. After getting a perfect score on both the ACT and the SAT, I had been accepted into several of the Ivy League colleges. It had all been worth giving up the possibility of dating, I thought. And I still didn't really want to date until I had my degree.

Rose looked like she'd suddenly realized that I was from another planet. Lissa nodded in understanding.

Thankfully, they were distracted when another girl sat down at our table, all but ignoring us as she got her textbook out of her bag.

Lissa was the first one to speak to her. "Hi. I'm Lissa Dragomir. This is Rose and this is Sydney." She pointed to us in turn.

The girl looked up and I thought that she looked too young to be in college. Her dirty blonde hair was cut very short, making her look even younger. And she was short, which certainly didn't help the matter. With an attitude that seemed too big for a girl of her size, she said, "Mia Rinaldi. I keep to myself, so don't think that we're going to become friends."

Lissa looked taken aback, as was I.

Rose opened her mouth to shoot something back, but Lissa stopped her with a hand on her arm and a shake of her head.

Smart, I thought, because Mia certainly wasn't worth getting into trouble on the first day of classes.

Luckily for Rose, the professor walked into the room just then and went right to the front, introducing himself as Professor Alto. He was a man that had to be in his late forties or early fifties, and he had the kind of expression that told me he wouldn't be taking crap from anyone. Those were the kind of teachers that I normally enjoyed.

He started by taking roll and then went over the syllabus with us so that we would know what to expect in the class. Most of it was basic stuff, but I took special note of the schedule he had included, which was a list of which chapters we would be covering and when. Later, I planned to copy all of the test dates into my personal planner.

He then explained that the person sitting next to us would be out lab partner for the semester. Lissa and Rose grinned at each other and then both gave me looks of sympathy because I was stuck with Mia, who hadn't even looked at me in the time that we'd been sitting next to each other.

"Sorry that you have to be stuck with her," Lissa said as we left the class together.

"I can make it through a semester," I assured her and Rose. "I'm here to get a degree, not make friends with everyone I meet."

"Well, I hope _we_ can be friends." We all stopped walking and stood in a small circle. "Can you meet us for lunch today at eleven?"

I mentally went over my schedule. "Yeah, that'll work. Where at?"

"The cafeteria," Rose answered. "I have a meal plan but Her Royal Highness doesn't have to."

That all but confirmed my suspicions that Lissa came from a rich family and was very well off. "The cafeteria is great. I have a meal plan there, too."

We all exchanged numbers, just in case, and then I went off to my next class of the day. After that one was over, it was time for the break I'd left myself for lunch. I made it to the cafeteria a little early, so I helped myself to some food and then found a table near a window for some good natural light.

About fifteen minutes later, Lissa and Rose joined me, along with a tall guy that I assumed was Lissa's boyfriend. Or, at least, I _hoped_ he was with the casual way that he touched her. He was skinny as far as guys went, and had hair as black as the night. His eyes were a beautiful blue and framed by those long, curved lashes that guys always seemed to have. His skin was the same shade as Lissa's, and he was dressed casually in jeans and a blue polo that brought out the color of his eyes.

"Christian, this is the girl I was telling you about. Sydney Sage. Sydney, this is Christian Ozera." She beamed. "My boyfriend."

We shook hands and then Rose sat beside me, Lissa and Christian taking up the other side of the table. He and Lissa looked very good together, and I couldn't help but think that their children would be beyond beautiful, if they decided to have any, that is.

Over the next hour of eating with them, I discovered many things about all of them.

Lissa, Rose, and Christian had gone to St. Vladimir's Academy, a private school in New York City. Lissa's parents were, indeed, incredibly rich; her father worked as an investment banker and her mother was a lawyer. Christian's parents had died in a car accident when he was very young but his aunt, Tasha, was a literature professor at NYU and did very well for them. Rose's mother was an ambassador and her father was in some kind of shipping business, though I never would have guessed that by looking at her. She didn't wear her wealth on her sleeve, clearly.

Christian complimented Lissa perfectly, I thought. She was all light and he was all dark – in both appearance and personality. Not that Christian was psychopathic or anything, but he seemed to be quite an introvert while Lissa was much more open and extroverted. And they were incredibly cute together, sometimes sharing looks that made me jealous that I didn't have something like that.

Not that I _wanted_ anything like that. I had a plan about how all of that was going to go. That plan had been in place since my freshman year of high school, and it wasn't about to change just because Lissa and Christian were cute together.

The plan was: finish college and get a degree. Then, go to a graduate program and get another degree. After getting that degree, either go to get an even higher degree or find a good job. _Then_ – and only then – be open to getting into a relationship. And even when I did decide to start looking for a relationship, it would have to be with a certain type of guy.

An ambitious guy, so that we could encourage each other to achieve great things. Likely a guy that had a graduate degree of some type. A guy that didn't have any bad habits, because that wouldn't be good for our relationship. Definitely a guy that didn't come from money, because guys that came from money had never been all that great, in my experience. A guy that was humble.

Everything else was negotiable.

Once lunch was over, Lissa hugged me and said that she would see me in class on Wednesday. I had a feeling that we were going to become good friends, and I was glad. She seemed like a great person to have as a friend.

Rose smiled at me as she bid me farewell, which seemed to mean that she liked me as much as Lissa did. I was glad, because I enjoyed her company as well.

Christian said a simple, "Goodbye," but I thought that was good for someone like him.

The rest of my classes passed quickly and at the end of the day, I was almost astonished that the first day of college had gone so quickly. It was like I'd blinked and it was suddenly over. I couldn't believe that I had been unable to sleep because I'd been so anxious about it. Clearly, it hadn't been something to worry about.

But I had a feeling that a lot of the ease that I felt was because I'd met Lissa and Rose. Having good friends would make the college experience so much better, and I hoped that they could be that for me and that they would let me be that for them.

 **(Been A Long Day by Rosi Golan)**

I called my mother late that evening, after I had finished reading everything that I'd been assigned to read that day. I almost thought that it was going to go to voicemail, but she answered at the last second, sounding out of breath. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom. It's me." As if she wouldn't be able to tell by the sound of my voice.

"Hey!" Her voice brightened. "How was the first day of college? Was it as hard as you thought it was going to be? Did you meet any cool people? Do you like your professors? Tell me everything!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and tried to oblige to the best of my abilities. I told her about my schedule and about the professors that I liked already and the ones I wasn't sure about yet. I told her that it seemed challenging, but in a good way; I knew that I was going to learn a lot. Then, I told her about Rose and Lissa and Christian, and also about Mia Rinaldi, who I was sure was going to be the worst lab professor in history.

When I had finished telling her everything, she said, "Well, I'm glad you met some people that you can be friends with. I was a little worried about it, to be honest. You being so far away from home and not knowing anyone…"

"I'm fine," I assured her. "And I _will be_ fine. We used to move around all the time, remember?"

"Yes, and I also remember that you had a tough time making friends. Kids don't like know-it-alls and you-"

"Okay, okay." I stopped her before she could remind me about my tough childhood. "I got better, though. I had friends in St Louis. I still talk to a few of them." But not often. "And I'll make friends here."

"I know you will." She talked a bit about a project she was working on and then said that she had to go to bed. "Thank you for calling. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom," I told her and then hung up.

I missed my family, certainly, but things were looking up for me.


	3. Chapter 2

… **..**

 **Another chapter up! Thanks to everyone that has reviewed; I so appreciate it!**

 **I hope you enjoy this coming chapter!**

…

 **Chapter Two**

Lissa had invited me to go with her, Rose, and Christian to a Halloween party. And though those weren't normally my type of events, I had decided that it sounded like fun and I wanted to go. Then, the question became what I wanted to go _as_.

Lissa was going as an angel, which totally suited her with her platinum blonde hair, slim model-like figure, and fair skin.

Rose was going to be the devil, complete with red horns and a pitchfork.

Lissa was even getting Christian to dress up – as a scarecrow, no less. She'd picked out his overalls, plaid flannel shirt, boots, and straw hat.

When she suggested that I should go as a princess, I had scoffed and said that was much better suited to someone with her model-like looks. I was skinny, but nowhere close to her kind of skinny. I was pretty, but not gorgeous like her. Average in every way was how I liked to describe myself.

But, the night before the party was to happen, I still hadn't found anything else to be. That's how I found myself at a costume shop late at night, buying a tiara. I felt ridiculous, but at least I wouldn't be the only one there not dressed up.

The next day, I went to classes like normal and then went over to Lissa's apartment to get ready with her and Rose. She lived in an apartment in Central Park West, one of the richest parts of the city. Her apartment was on one of the top floors and it had a hell of a view overlooking Central Park. It was beautifully decorated with clean lines and modern furniture. Beautiful paintings hung on the walls and I found myself studying them closely.

 **(Ex's & Oh's by Elle King)**

Soon, we were in a flurry of helping each other get ready to go. Rose and I helped Lissa's hair go into an elegant updo and then we fixed her halo into place. Then, Lissa began to put my hair into an updo similar to hers while I curled Rose's hair for her, giving Rose her hands free to do her makeup. Then, Lissa and Rose collaborated on my makeup. Lissa had already done her own makeup for the occasion.

After changing into my elegant pink dress, Lissa helped me fix my tiara into place and then insisted that I had to go into her bathroom to look at myself in the full-length mirror.

And oh… wow.

The dress was the perfect color on my skin, which was exactly why I'd chosen it for my senior prom. It went all the way to the floor, but had been hemmed so that I wouldn't trip over it. The top had some ruching and the neckline was illusion. Lissa had twisted the sides of my hair back into a fancy updo that nearly mirrored hers and the tiara was settled perfectly atop my head. By way of makeup, my thankfully blemish-free skin was covered in foundation and loose powder. The eyeshadow that they had used was shimmery and brown, setting off my green eyes. And the false lashes that Lissa had given me were thick and curved, more beautiful than any I'd ever tried. My lipstick was nearly the same shade as my dress.

"Don't you think you're hot?" Rose asked, appearing behind me in the mirror and grinning. "You better be sure you don't want a boyfriend, because every guy at that party is going to be trying to pick you up."

I felt myself blushing. "Shut up. Dimitri will be beating them off of you with a stick." Her hair looked even better curled and something about that red lipstick that she wore screamed of seduction.

She grinned and studied herself in the mirror. "Right?"

"Okay, okay," Lissa said as she rushed into the bathroom and sprayed herself with some fancy perfume. "Let's go. We don't want to be late."

Christian was waiting at the front door for us and Rose made it a point to tell him how ridiculous he looked as a scarecrow. He shot back a retort and then they were at it the whole way to his car. In the time that I had gotten to know them, I had discovered that Rose and Christian acted exactly like brother and sister. It was kind of cute.

Once we arrived at the club where the party was taking place, Lissa somehow got us all inside without getting carded. I told her that I didn't even want to know how she had accomplished it, just in case a cop asked me later. She just laughed and rolled her eyes at me.

There was a dance floor right in the middle that people were taking full advantage of, swaying and gyrating to the booming beat of club music. All around the dance floor was a raised platform with tables, and plenty of people sat at those as well, drinking and talking with each other. The range in costumes was amusing and I found myself entranced, trying to look at everyone.

Less than a minute after we had arrived, Rose was grabbed around the waist by a super tall man dressed as a cop. I thought she would punch him, but instead she squealed in delight and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss him. I was unsurprised when she introduced him as Dimitri, her boyfriend.

His accent bespoke his Russian heritage, as did his rough facial features. He had to be at least six-seven, and his skin was slightly tanner than mine. His brown hair was tied back in a tiny ponytail at the nape of his neck and, all in all, I thought he was a good match for Rose. He seemed much calmer than her wildness, and I thought that was good for her.

In no time at all, she had dragged him (smiling the entire time) out onto the dance floor.

Lissa and Christian were close behind, after Lissa had made sure that I didn't mind being alone for a bit.

A couple of guys came up to me and asked me to dance, but I refused them politely. Dancing led to other things and it was better to just avoid the situation all together. I had come to have fun with friends on Halloween, not meet and hook up with random guys for the fun of it. I had a plan, and I was sticking to it, just like I had promised myself in eighth grade.

Alcohol didn't sound so bad, though. I wasn't much of a drinker, but I didn't see the harm in one drink. The club was twenty-one plus only, so I knew that they likely wouldn't be carding. Still, butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of doing something illegal.

Before I could put in my order to the bartender, however, a guy dressed as a football player (which I thought was the dumbest costume idea ever) stepped in my path. He was taller than me by a head, even in the heels that I was wearing, and he was built the way that I imagined linebackers had to be built. He had a buzz cut and plain brown eyes. Cute, but not overly so.

But even if he'd been the most handsome guy in the world, I wouldn't have been interested. I had a plan that I believed in.

"Excuse me," I said before he'd even opened his mouth. I tried to step around him.

He blocked my path again, moving with more grace than I would have thought possible of someone with his stout build. "Why the rush, sweetheart?"

I grimaced at the term of endearment; my grandmother had always called me that while she painfully pinched my cheeks. It was a wonder my face wasn't permanently misshapen. "No rush. Just don't feel like talking."

Stepping closer, he reached out and grabbed my arm. Not in a threatening kind of way, but I still felt myself stiffen. Before I'd left for college, my father had given me a long talk about preventing rape and mugging. He'd done a great job freaking me out.

"Stay and talk a while," the guy was saying, giving me a smile that I was sure was supposed to be seductive.

Still uneasy, I shook my head and tried to pull away. Unfortunately, he was holding me too tightly for me to just be able to pull away. "No, thanks. Let me go."

"Don't be like that," he crooned and stepped even closer. I didn't think he was even aware of how uncomfortable I was. "I'll buy you whatever drink you want."

Alcohol didn't even sound good anymore. I just wanted to be away from him. "No. Let me go."

His smile dropped and annoyance tilted his features. "Listen-"

"There you are." Suddenly, another arm was around me and a different guy had deftly maneuvered me away from football dude. "So sorry I'm late. Have you been waiting long?"

The new guy was slightly taller than the first – probably six-one or six-two. He was dressed in black dress pants, fancy black shoes, and a royal blue Oxford shirt. His brown hair had been styled to look messy and his eyes were the greenest that I had ever seen. Whereas the other guy was maybe a five on the attractiveness scale, this guy was off of the charts.

And he seemed to be rescuing me.

Recovering my speech, I pasted on a smile and leaned into him slightly to make it seem more realistic. "No, not long. We just got here. I told them not to wait for you."

"Good call." His smile made my heart skip a beat, as lame as that sounds. Turning to the football player, he frowned slightly. "Do I know you? I thought that I had met all of my girlfriend's friends."

At the word 'girlfriend', football dude looked extremely disappointed. "No, uh… We just met. We were just talking."

"I see." The new guy gave me another smile and asked, "Were you headed to the bar?"

"Um, yeah," I answered, though now I wasn't sure if I really wanted anything to drink. "Do you want anything?" It seemed like something a girlfriend would ask her boyfriend.

"I'll just come with you." He slipped his hand into mine and nodded at football dude, who was already backing away. "If you'll excuse us."

 **(Love Story by Taylor Swift)**

Once we were several steps away, I started to pull my hand out of his, thinking that the act could be over.

"No, no, no," he said and grinned at me. "You agreed to play chummy with me to get out of that awkward situation with Jock-zilla. Now you have to see it through to the end. What'll it be?"

I quickly weighed the odds in my mind. If I walked away and stayed away from this guy, there was a chance that football dude – or even other guys – might notice and approach me. At least with this guy, I felt more comfortable. He didn't seem dangerous.

"I'm not sure…" I hadn't yet worked out what I wanted to have. I didn't like the smell of beer, but I didn't want straight alcohol, either.

He gave me a knowing smile. "Never had a drink before?"

"I'm legal," I blurted out and felt my face flame. People that were actually of legal drinking age probably didn't announce it like that.

"And I'm a purple unicorn," he said before getting the bartender's attention. "A Tom Collins for me and a Sex on the Beach for the princess."

The bartender went to making drinks and I sat down on the stool beside my mystery savior. "Um… thanks. I can pay for my own drink, though."

He shook his head. "Nonsense. I don't let my girlfriends pay for their own drinks. Even my fake girlfriends. It's not gentlemanly."

At least he seemed to know that nothing would come from this night. That put me at ease just a bit. "I'm Sydney, by the way. I figure if I'm going to be your fake girlfriend, you should at least know my name."

"Sydney," he mused to himself. I liked the way that he said it. "Is there a last name to go with that?"

"Sage."

"Sage," he murmured and then held out his hand to me with a smile. "Adrian Ivashkov. Lovely to meet you."

I shook his hand.

"Thanks for the thing with football dude," I told him. "He didn't do anything threatening, but he made me uncomfortable."

"I could tell." When the bartender set our drinks down, he paid him and told him to keep the change. "Drink up."

My drink was a darker shade of pink and smelled only faintly of alcohol. Hesitantly, I took a sip and made a face as the burn slid down my throat.

Adrian laughed. "Not a seasoned drinker, huh?" The first sip of his drink didn't seem to affect him at all. "Haven't been legal long?" His green eyes danced with humor.

I decided that I could trust him, as he didn't seem above deception. After making sure that the bartender was out of earshot, I said, "I'm actually only eighteen. My friend got me into this club somehow. I really have no idea how she did it."

"Enough money opens up all _kinds_ of doors," he told me with a wink. "Eighteen, huh? Are you in college?"

"At Columbia." I took another sip of my drink and mentally fought against the burn. How on earth did people take shots of straight alcohol? "It's my first semester. I'm a Chemistry major."

"I go to Columbia as well. Art major. And before you go off saying ' _you can't get a respectable career with an art degree'_ , just know that several of my paintings have already been featured in galleries around the city. I'm good."

"I wasn't going to say that," I told him, though I was certainly thinking it. "What year are you?"

"Well, I actually _am_ legal," he said, which made me blush. "I'm a junior this year."

"And what are you planning to do with your degree?" I asked, genuinely curious. I couldn't think of anything practical to do with a degree in art. "Just sell paintings?"

He put a hand over his heart and feigned wounded. " _Just_ sell paintings? They're _art_ , Sydney Sage. You would agree if you had seen any of them. But in all seriousness, I've considered a few things besides just selling paintings. Art therapy, or maybe teaching."

"I'm not artistic in any way." That couldn't have been any truer. "I've just never given it much thought. I didn't mean to insult your chosen field."

"Don't worry; I'm hard to offend." His lazy grin was even more proof of that. "So, tell me about you. Who _is_ Sydney Sage?"

I blushed again for no reason at all and bought myself some time by taking a drink. "There's really not that much to me."

"Oh, I doubt that." He spoke like he was a person that had known me for years and not someone that had met me only ten minutes before.

Strangely encouraged, I spoke. "I'm from St Louis. Well, mostly. We moved a lot when I was growing up but we always had a home in St Louis and that's where I graduated high school. I have three brothers and no sisters. We're a pretty tight knit family."

"Military brat?" he guessed and signaled the bartender for another drink.

"State department. My dad, anyway. My mom runs her own graphic design business online."

"And the brothers… older or younger?"

"All older."

His grin was teasing. "Did they scare your dates off in high school?"

"I didn't date."

He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Didn't date? Why would you choose that?"

"Who says I chose it?" I asked him, even though that was exactly the case. "Maybe I just had a really hard time finding guys that were interested in me."

He shook his head and paid for his drink. "That can't be true. So, why didn't you date?"

"Not part of the plan." It was the most honest answer that I could give him. "You don't get a full ride to an Ivy League college by dating. You get it by studying and working hard."

The way that he studied me made me slightly uncomfortable. It was like he was staring right into my soul. No one had ever looked at me like that before. I almost wondered what he saw there. "Not your typical dumb blonde, then?"

"No."

"Ah, well." He gestured to my drink. "You don't like it?"

"I do." I took another drink and was pleased that it burned a little less this time. "It just takes some getting used to. I was never around alcohol all that much. My parents don't drink. Neither do my brothers, as far as I know."

"Religious?"

I shrugged. "Relatively, I suppose. We always attended church but it's never talked about much on all of the other days of the week. My dad is a big stickler for being a moral person, though. He says that alcohol makes that hard."

"It can. You have to be smart about it. Like me." In direct contradiction with his words, he gulped down his drink and requested another one.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "You certainly don't overdo it."

His grin told me that he was aware I was being sarcastic. "I know my limitations. And I have no intention of driving myself – or anyone else – home tonight."

That was a relief. At least he wasn't an idiot. "Good call. What's in these drinks, anyway?"

"Yours is vodka, cranberry juice, peach schnapps, and orange juice. Mine is gin, lemon juice, sugar, and carbonated water."

He hadn't even had to think for a moment about the ingredients. "You really know your alcohol."

"It's a hobby."

No doubt.

When I realized that I was getting a bit too comfortable talking to him, I stood up from my seat. "I think it's safe for us to part ways now."

I couldn't read his expression. "Are you sure?" He smiled flirtatiously and I blushed. "If it's too loud for you in here, we can take the party somewhere more private."

I forced myself to not even _consider_ that. It wasn't part of the plan. "No, thanks. I came here with some friends and they'll be looking for me before long."

"Here comes my cousin, anyway," he said, glancing at someone over my shoulder. "She can be a killjoy sometimes. You sure you don't want to stay?"

"I'm sure." I turned and smiled when I caught sight of Lissa walking towards me, Christian in tow.

"Lissa."

But I wasn't the only one that had said her name.

Surprised, I looked at Adrian, who shrugged.

"Sydney," Lissa smiled and then moved to Adrian's side to give him a hug. "Adrian. How in the world did you two meet in this crowded club?"

"Long story, cousin," Adrian told her and nodded at her boyfriend. "Christian."

"Adrian."

My head was spinning. Of all of the people to rescue me in a crowded club, it had to be Lissa's cousin. And of course, he had to be handsome and charming. "You two are… cousins."

"She's sharp," Adrian told Lissa, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Let's keep her."

Lissa laughed and playfully shoved him. "Forgive Adrian. He has sarcasm in spades."

"And hearts. And clubs. And…"

"Diamonds," Lissa and I supplied at the same time.

"Yes, thank you." He grinned at me. "So, you're friends with my cousin. You didn't mention that."

"You didn't mention that she's your cousin," I reminded him. "So we're even."

"Fair enough."

Lissa ordered something from the bartender and Christian stepped up to pay for her.

"See?" Adrian asked me pointedly. "Gentlemen pay for their girlfriend's drinks."

I rolled my eyes at him. Lissa looked confusedly between the two of us.

"I'm surprised to see you here," Adrian said to her with a knowing look. "I assume that your parents don't know that you're here?"

She shrugged. "They think I'm at a small gathering at the Contas' house. As if Camille and I ever could have remained friends after high school. She's such a-"

They continued to talk and I slowly backed away, watching them. When I was far enough away, I turned and melted into the bustling crowd, taking out my phone so that I could text Lissa and Rose and tell them that I hadn't felt well and needed to go home.

The whole cab ride back to my dorm room, I was praying that I wouldn't run into Adrian Ivashkov ever again.

I didn't need someone like him trying to ruin all of my plans.


	4. Chapter 3

… **..**

 **Another chapter up! I so enjoy writing this story and I hope that you all enjoy reading it. A special thank you to those of you that have taken the time to leave reviews. I cherish each one that I get. Please keep them coming!**

 **Enjoy!**

… **..**

 **Chapter Three**

Luck, as it happened, was _not_ on my side when it came to Adrian Ivashkov.

The Monday after the club's Halloween party, Lissa invited him to come and eat lunch with us in the cafeteria. Rose knew him (of course) and didn't seem to mind his presence at all, but _I_ certainly minded. It was obvious that he was flirting with me and I didn't want anything to do with it.

I continually had to remind myself that he wasn't what I wanted in a guy. I wanted someone with ambition and while Adrian _did_ attend an Ivy League college and seemed to be on track to get his degree, ambition didn't exactly roll off of him. He had more of a devil-may-care attitude about things that I determined to be half due to his nature and half to the fact that he came from a rich family.

As far as I knew, Adrian had no plans to get a graduate degree after he had finished at Columbia. He really didn't talk much about the future, so I wasn't one hundred percent positive, but it was my most educated guess. Not that a graduate degree was a _must_ … just a big bonus.

I didn't want a guy with bad habits, but Adrian seemed to have a habit of drinking too frequently. I'd never actually seen him drunk in all of the times that he had started hanging out with my group of friends, but he did drink quite frequently. I considered drinking to be a bad habit.

I also didn't want a guy that had come from money, as Adrian so obviously had. Lissa had let slip once that his trust fund was even larger than hers, and when she'd first told me about hers, my jaw had nearly hit the floor. Adrian's parents both worked on Wall Street, and they were obviously both very successful. I was willing to bet that he'd never wanted for anything.

And humility… I wasn't sure that Adrian knew the meaning of the word. But the most annoying part about that was that Adrian made bragging on himself seem like a joke. He made most things seem like a joke, actually. He never took anything seriously. Admittedly, he _was_ pretty funny. But humor could only take you so far in life.

No one else ever seemed to mind having him around, so I tolerated it for them. I didn't want to end up pushing them away all because I didn't want to spend time with Adrian. And what was I supposed to use as my excuse, anyway?

 _I have a plan and he's not part of it?_

 _He keeps flirting with me?_

 _If I keep hanging out around him, I'm afraid that I'll start to find his type attractive, and I don't want that?_

There was nothing that I could say that wouldn't make me sound like a bitch. And I definitely didn't want my new friends to think that I was a bitch. As far as I knew, they really liked me. And I really liked them, too. I had a feeling that Lissa and Rose, at least, were going to be forever friends.

They had also introduced me to two other friends of theirs, Eddie and Mason. They were both criminal justice majors with great senses of humor, but that's where the similarities ended. Eddie had dark hair, brown eyes, and a broad figure. Mason had red hair, blue eyes, and was taller. They both wanted to be FBI agents someday, which almost seemed at odds with their joking personalities.

I had recently learned not to judge books by their covers, however.

 **(Perfect by Pink)**

One night, in early December, I was studying for finals when I received a call from Lissa.

"Hello?"

"Hey," she said. "What are you doing?"

"Studying." I was surprised that she would even ask me that. "Isn't that what _you're_ doing, too?" Finals were going to begin in two days.

"I studied hard this whole week. And so did you. Come take a break with us."

It was so tempting. I really _had_ been studying hard all week. Every minute that I wasn't in class or working in the lab, I had been in my room, studying. I felt prepared for all of my exams, but that didn't mean that I wanted to stop studying. I intended to keep a perfect GPA all throughout my college years, and that wouldn't be achieved by slacking off on my studies.

But maybe just a break…

Lissa sensed my hesitation and turned on her begging voice. "Please? Rose and I are the only girls here and we need you. It'll be fun! You can go right back to studying tomorrow and get a full day in before your first exam."

I inhaled deeply and stared at my open textbook.

 _You've been studying very hard and you're going to do awesome on all of your finals. Your GPA is not in jeopardy. Go spend some time with Lissa and Rose. It'll be good to get a break from all of this studying. Then, tomorrow, you can start back fresh and go over everything one more time before exams start. It's not like they're all on the same day, anyway. There'll still be plenty of time to study._

The voice in my head didn't sound like my own, but I decided to listen, anyway. Everything that it had said made sense. "All right." I closed my textbook and clambered off of my bed. "Where are we meeting at?"

"We're at my apartment. I think Rose is about to order some pizza. What kind do you want? Pepperoni?"

My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn't eaten much that day. I'd been too busy studying to worry about trivial things like food. "Yeah. Pepperoni sounds great."

"Cool. See you in a bit."

I contemplated heading right out the door, but a glance at myself in the mirror made me cringe. My hair was falling out of its ponytail and my skin was peeling slightly from all of the cold weather New York had been having. I also looked exhausted from all of the studying and my T-shirt had some weird stain on the shoulder.

With a resigned sigh, I took off my clothes and changed into jeans, a new T-shirt, and a blue Columbia University hoodie. My hair went up into a messy bun before I stepped into my tennis shoes. Then, I decided that I needed just a bit of makeup so that I didn't look like a zombie.

I swiped on some foundation, set it with powder, and then applied just a bit of mascara. At the last minute, I also put some concealer under my eyes to fight those bags that I was getting from my rigorous study schedule. Once I was satisfied that I didn't look horrible, I headed for Lissa's apartment.

The pizza had just arrived and I eagerly grabbed a plate and loaded it with a few slices of pizza and some breadsticks. Mason gave me a hard time about my loaded plate, but I didn't even care. I was practically starving.

Lissa found me and hugged me tight, thanking me for putting aside my studies for the evening to come and spend time with everyone. She was in a cheery mood, matching her apartment, which was already decorated for Christmas. It seriously looked like something straight out of a Christmas magazine.

"I know," Christian told me when I mentioned it to him. "It looks like the North Pole threw up in here." But he smiled fondly at Lissa as he said it.

Rose and Dimitri were cuddled up on the loveseat together, having a very private conversation. Just the way that they were looking at each other was very private, and I quickly looked away. They deserved to have a few quiet moments together. Rose had told me that Dimitri had been working way too much so that he could afford to buy her nice Christmas presents. I thought that the sentiment was nice, but it frustrated her a lot.

Mason and Eddie had just sat down at the kitchen table with…

Adrian.

He was dressed casually in dark wash jeans and a gray cotton shirt. His hair, as always, was stylishly messy. A plate of pizza was in front of him and a glass of some kind of alcohol was slightly to the side, next to a taller glass of water. At least he was hydrating with his alcohol.

In his hands were several cards, and it took me a minute to notice that Eddie and Mason held cards as well. Clearly, they were having some kind of card game. Probably poker.

"Hey, Princess," Adrian said when he noticed me. He'd been calling me that ever since that night at the club, where I had been dressed up as a princess.

I only wished that _he_ had been dressed up as something so that I could have called him something as well. "Adrian." I had decided that I would be cordial with him, but also make it clear that I was not interested in a romantic relationship. So far, I thought that I had done a stellar job.

"Join us," he invited, sweeping his hand over the table. "I was just about to break Eddie."

Stepping closer, I noticed the pile of chips in the center of the table and the smaller stacks in front of each of them. Definitely poker. I also noticed that Eddie's stack of chips was nearly gone, and he looked incredibly nervous.

 **(Poker Face by Lady Gaga)**

Mason encouraged me to join them, so I slowly sat down in the fourth and final chair. The dining room table would have been better, as I could have sat farther away from Adrian, but I took what I could get. He gave me a smile like he knew what I was doing. He probably did. He had an uncanny gift of reading people. I'd once told him that he should have majored in psychology.

Adrian _did_ end up beating Eddie out of the rest of his money, but Eddie convinced him to start over so that I could be dealt in. I didn't really want to play, but there wasn't really another option. Rose and Dimitri were still having their moment and Christian and Lissa had gone off somewhere, so unless I wanted to be all alone…

Eddie quickly explained what each color of chip stood for and I was relieved that they weren't playing for real money. Eddie and Mason weren't rich like Lissa and Adrian, but they obviously came from middle class families much like my own. They probably had _some_ money to throw away.

It was dealer's choice, and Adrian was the first to deal. He picked five card draw, a game that I was very familiar with. Unfortunately, I didn't hit the straight that I'd been going for and I folded. It wasn't time to bluff yet. Not until there were more chips in the pot.

Adrian won and then handed the cards off to Eddie, who wanted to play seven card stud. I wasn't as familiar with that game, but it was easy enough to learn and I actually won that game. I was still smiling when Eddie handed me the cards to shuffle and deal.

"You've played poker before," Adrian noted, slightly impressed. "Who taught you?"

"We moved around a lot when I was younger," I said for the benefit of Eddie and Mason. "As we got older, my brothers and I needed something more challenging to play. So, my oldest brother learned how to play poker and taught us. Better than Monopoly or Go Fish."

"Don't be hating on Go Fish," Adrian told me with faux intensity. "It's my favorite game."

"Texas Hold 'Em," I announced and dealt the cards.

Adrian won decidedly, despite the fact that I had pocket rockets. Clearly, he had all of the luck. Mason seemed to think so as well. During the next game, he kept talking to Adrian, trying to get him to slip up and tell us all what he had. Of course, it didn't work, and Adrian won again. He obviously had a lot of experience with poker. I was proved correct when he talked about all of the times he had won at various casinos in Vegas.

"Do you count cards, too?" I asked him curiously. It wouldn't have surprised me.

"I'm not that quick with math." He watched Eddie deal out the cards for five card draw. "Can you?"

"No," I admitted. "I really don't even know that much about it. I've just heard people talk about it before. I know you can get in trouble for doing it." 

"Not if you don't admit it," he told me. "They can't _prove_ that you're counting cards. They'll just ask you to leave once you start making too much money. I saw it happen once to a guy. He just cashed in his chips and left."

That was unsurprising. I'd heard that if you refused to leave, they'd take you off somewhere and beat you. Better to just take the money you'd already won and leave. "I guess he wasn't sneaky enough."

I couldn't read his smile. "I bet you could be sneaky enough, though. You should learn how to count cards. Make some money here and there without having to work in a lab."

"I _like_ working in a lab. And I'll call." I threw in the appropriate amount of chips. "It's good practice for my future. And Doctor Alto will be an awesome reference for graduate school."

Adrian called. "You're still serious about that, then? Haven't given up on the plan yet?"

"No." I had told him about my plans once. That had clearly been a mistake, as now he was constantly trying to get me to abandon them. "I made those plans for a reason. I'm going to stick to them."

Eddie muscled his way back into the conversation and I helped him, eager to talk about something else. After Mason finally won a hand, the conversation again turned to something else.

Time passed more quickly with each game until, finally, Lissa, Christian, Rose, and Dimitri had pulled up chairs to watch. Mason was the first one to lose all of his money, followed two games later by Eddie. That only left me and Adrian, both of us with almost exactly the same amount of chips.

We played a few more games and then, during a game of Texas Hold 'Em, it got very, _very_ interesting.

The cards in the middle had the potential of a straight flush. Unfortunately, with my last card, I didn't hit it.

I decided to bluff. "All in."

Adrian studied me and, though it made me want to squirm under the heat of his gaze, I refused to do so. Instead, I looked directly at him and kept my face neutral.

"Okay," he finally said and pushed all of his chips into the center of the table. "And I'll raise."

Confused, I said, "You can't raise if you don't have anything else."

"Sure I can." He grinned. "It's more of a bet, really. If I win, you have to go on a date with me."

There was a collective gasp from around the table. Everyone sitting there knew that Adrian had a crush on me and that I had been resisting his advances.

It was my turn to study him closely. I had a straight, but no flush. He could only beat me if he had the straight _and_ the flush. I decided that a direct approach would be best. "Do you have a straight flush?"

"It'll cost you an agreement to my bet to find out." His expression was light and teasing. "And by the way, it's a date to happen _soon_. Not a date to happen five to ten years from now." It was like he knew exactly what I was thinking. "As soon as finals are over, in fact. And the date will be entirely planned – and paid for – by me. And you will be cooperative." Damn, he thought of everything.

I hesitated. "What do I get if _I_ win?"

He thought for only a moment. "A thousand dollars."

There was another collective breath from my friends. It really shouldn't have been that big of a deal, though. A thousand dollars was pocket change to Adrian. But a thousand dollars would mean a lot to me. Sure, I had plenty in savings and in my college fund, but a thousand dollars that I didn't have to work for would mean one hell of a shopping spree.

"Fine," I said. I had determined that there was no way that he had the straight flush. He would have been a lot smugger if he did. He was just making the bet to try to scare me into folding and losing. And I was determined that I was _not_ going to lose to him. He needed to be taken down a few notches, and I was eager to do it. "I agree. Call."

The grin that nearly split his face told me, even before his cards did, that he had beaten me. "Straight flush."

I looked intently at the cards that he had set down, trying to convince myself that he had to be lying. There was no way that he'd actually gotten a straight flush. But the cards didn't lie, and the black ink stared back at me, mocking me. An eight, a nine, a ten, a jack, and a queen, all of them spades. He'd somehow drawn both the jack and the queen of spades. It seemed impossible.

Mason and Eddie were in awe, congratulating Adrian on a job well done. Christian was laughing hysterically, as though he had just seen the world's best comedy instead of the tragedy that it was. Lissa and Rose seemed unsure about what to think and Dimitri was shaking his head. Clearly, he hadn't seen that coming.

Neither had I.

I sat there in shock.

"I should get going," Adrian said after a few minutes and stood, pulling on a black jacket that he had somehow pulled out of thin air. At least, that's what it seemed like. He walked around to my side of the table and stopped by my chair, smiling down at me. "I'll be texting soon to collect my date."

And then he was gone.

Eddie and Mason began cleaning up the poker stuff. Lissa asked Christian to go and clean up the kitchen and Dimitri volunteered to help him. That left Lissa and Rose to sit at the table with me, where I was still in shock.

"I can't believe it," I said quietly, staring down at the table where Adrian's cards had been. "There's no way he should have had that straight flush."

"A stroke of luck," Rose agreed.

"Or fate." When Rose and I both looked at her, Lissa shrugged. "What? Straight flushes are pretty rare. Maybe it was meant to be that the two of you are going out on a date. Who knows? Maybe you'll actually end up liking him?"

"I'm not dating him," I told her quickly. "I have to go on _a date_ with him because I lost and that's what I agreed to, but it won't turn into a relationship. I have a plan, and having a relationship right now isn't part of it."

"The plan doesn't have to be set in stone," she told me. "It could be more like some guidelines."

I shook my head. "It's a _plan_. And I'm going to stick to it. It's gotten me this far." All the way from a high school in St Louis to an Ivy League college. I had faith in the plan.

"Speaking of plans…" Rose said, and we turned out attention to her. She smiled evilly at me. "What are you going to wear on your date?"

I groaned in frustration and stood up. "I need to go. Coming here tonight was obviously a big mistake. This never would have happened if I had stayed home and studied for cell biology."

"Or maybe it would have," Lissa corrected me. "Fate works in mysterious ways."

I just rolled my eyes at her and then gave her a quick hug. "Thank you for feeding me. And for inviting me over, even though it led to _this._ "

Rose hugged me. "You'll be fine. If anyone can handle Adrian Ivashkov, it's you. I think it would be entertaining to watch."

I could only hope that she didn't get a lot of enjoyment out of the disaster that it was bound to be.


	5. Chapter 4

…

 **I've really enjoyed writing what I have so far and I'm super excited to keep working on this story. Thank you all so much for reading and especially for reviewing. Reviews are a bright light in my day! Keep it up, please!**

 **I hope you enjoy this next chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

… **..**

 **Chapter Four**

 **(Man! I Feel Like a Woman! By Shania Twain)**

Shania Twain belted out my go-to feel-good song through the speakers on top of my desk. Normally, it boosted my confidence. But, today, it did nothing for my mood. I didn't think that anything could.

"This is ridiculous," I growled to myself as I glowered at the clothes in my wardrobe, hands fisted on my hips. "Just _pick_ something."

I was trying to prepare for my date with Adrian.

The date that I was only going on because I had lost a bet while playing him in poker.

I wanted to protest and refuse to go, but I had agreed that I would be cooperative. And, if nothing else, I was going to keep my word. He wasn't worth staining my character for, no matter how much I did _not_ want to go on a date with him.

Just as I was about to give up and flip a coin to decide what to wear, there was a knock at my door. Odd, since I hadn't invited anyone over.

Rose and Lissa stood on the other side, both of them smiling. Lissa held a few shopping bags.

"Ummm…"

Lissa beamed at me excitedly. "Can we come in?"

Good thing I always kept my room clean and organized. I stepped aside to allow them to pass. "Sure, I guess. I was just about to get ready for my… date." I practically choked on the word.

"We know." Lissa dumped the shopping bags on my bed and then started to pull things out. "We went shopping for you."

" _Liss_ went shopping for you," Rose corrected her best friend and gave me a sympathetic smile. "I couldn't reign her in. Sorry."

"It's exciting!" Lissa defended herself and held up a dress.

All of my arguments died when I saw it. It was mint green – a color that looked fantastic against my skin. It was empire-waisted and made of flowy fabric that I knew would swish when I walked. True to my modest style, it was designed to fall slightly below the knees. It was the most beautiful dress that I had ever seen.

"I knew you would love it!" I obviously wasn't hard to read. Lissa shoved the dress at me. "Put it on. There's shoes in here somewhere." She then proceeded to dig through her bags.

Though I felt a bit self-conscious about changing in front of others, I did it anyway and then admired myself in the mirror. The dress did hit right below my knees and it looked as beautiful on me as I had thought that it would. "I _do_ love it." I turned. "How much do I owe you?"

Lissa looked like she'd just been dealt a grievous insult. "Shut up. Here." She thrust a pair of silver strappy heels at me.

I knew that it would do me no good to argue with her. Lissa was stubborn, and she rather enjoyed spending money on her friends. I had made it my mission to make sure that she didn't do it too often and to just appreciate it when she did do it. It was much easier than trying to fight her every time. Because, somehow, she always won.

"Makeup time," Lissa announced and motioned for me to sit down on the bed. "Rose, fix a few of these curls in the back."

I didn't even know why I had curled my hair. I always missed some sections in the back.

For the next thirty minutes, Lissa worked on my makeup and Rose perfected my hair before acting as Lissa's assistant, handing her brushes and palettes and Q-tips. But when Lissa had finished and held up a mirror for me to see myself, I knew that it had all been worth it. She'd made me look absolutely fabulous.

"Adrian's going to think that I'm actually trying to impress him."

"Adrian's not the worst that you could do." Lissa had been singing Adrian's praises every free moment since I'd lost my bet to him. I had a feeling that she wanted us to get together.

Rose plopped down on the bed and pulled out her cell phone, obviously refusing to get into it.

"Maybe not the worst," I allowed, "but he's definitely not my type."

"He could be."

"No."

She huffed and finished packing her supplies away. "Even if he's not your type, this is your first date. It's only fitting that you're all dressed up for it."

I was startled by the realization. I had never dated in high school, which meant that this was, indeed, my very first date. _Ever_. If I hadn't been nervous before, I certainly was now.

"You'll be fine," Lissa told me gently, giving me a comforting smile. "It's not like this is a complete stranger. You know Adrian. And he's a good conversationalist, so it shouldn't be awkward or anything. Just treat it like hanging out with a friend."

"At a fancy five-star restaurant?" I asked incredulously. Adrian had called me earlier in the week to tell me that he'd gotten reservations. After we'd hung up, I had looked the restaurant up online and discovered that it was one of the top-rated places in New York City. Of course Adrian would want to go all out for our first – and only – date.

Lissa shrugged like it was no big deal. To her, it likely wasn't. She dined at fancy restaurants all of the time. She'd grown up with that kind of treatment. "You'll do great."

I made sure that my look said that I didn't believe her.

"We should get going," she said and tapped Rose's arm. "Let's get out of her hair before Adrian comes to pick her up."

"He already did that," Rose joked and dodged the pillow that I threw at her.

"Get out," I said, even though that was clearly what they were already doing.

"Have fun!" Lissa called. "It's going to be great!"

"Relax," Rose advised. "It's not that serious." 

And then they were gone, shutting my door behind them.

I began to pace, trying to calm myself down. I had no idea why I felt so nervous about it, but I guessed that it was just regular first date nerves. It wasn't the fact that it was Adrian I was going on the date with. It's not like I _liked_ him. I had just lost a bet and was paying up. And I would be getting a free meal and free entertainment out of it. All in all, it wasn't a bad deal.

I was still telling myself that ten minutes later when he knocked on my door, right on time.

I took two deep breaths and then opened it, ready to face him and get the date over with.

 **(Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble)**

Adrian was dressed in black pants, a gray button-up shirt, and fancy black leather shoes. His hair was still stylishly messy, but perhaps a bit more put together than normal. His green eyes were bright as he smiled at me. "Good evening, Princess."

I recovered quickly. "Adrian. Come in. I just need to grab my purse and I'll be ready."

"Thank you," he said politely as he stepped over the threshold and began to look around the room. "I always wondered what these dorms looked like."

"Of course you never lived in the dorms," I muttered as I reached into the wardrobe for my purse.

"Nope," he said proudly and when I turned, he was grinning. "My parents bought me an apartment when I graduated high school. I think my dad was pretty eager to have me out of the house. My mom cried, though."

"Probably tears of joy," I replied drily and shouldered my purse. "Ready?"

He looked amused instead of annoyed, as I had hoped. "If you are."

We walked out together and began to walk towards the elevator.

"Your room is exceptionally well-kept," he commented as we stepped on together. "Then again, that shouldn't surprise me. You're all about plans and organization. I bet you have a cleaning chart where you give yourself gold stars for completing a task."

I blushed slightly. "No gold stars, but I do have a cleaning chart. I clean a little bit every day so that it stays clean."

"And I bet you have that chart memorized," he teased. "Go ahead. Recite it."

Just because I thought it might annoy him, I did. "Appliances and half of the laundry on Monday. Dusting and the other half of the laundry on Tuesday. Wednesdays are window and mirror day. Thursdays are for airing out the mattress and washing my sheets. And I dust again. Fridays are for deep cleaning the floors. I sweep every day. And I try to keep things put away."

He led me out into the chilly evening. "Well, you do a great job. Our ride is over here."

I froze. "You rented a limo to take us to the restaurant?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed and I was almost relieved, but then he said, "I rented a limo for the entire evening."

The driver, who had been waiting outside the back door even though it was quite cold outside, gave us a nod and opened the door for us. Adrian gestured that I should slide in first. I did so, studying the inside of the limo very closely. It was about as large as I had expected it to be, and the inside glowed with a soft light. Off to one side, there was what looked like a mini fridge of some sort. Everything about it was incredibly fancy and I instantly felt out of place.

"Do you always rent limos on your first dates?" I asked him as the limo began to pull forward.

He looked so _right_ , casually leaned back against the seat. He belonged in this world. "This is the first time, actually."

I pushed down the burst of pleasure I felt at the lengths he had gone to in order to impress me.

 _It doesn't matter how impressive he is,_ I reminded myself. _Dating is not a part of your plan. You'll finish this one up and then go right back to being single. No more dates until you finish your degree. Remember the plan. Remember the plan._

Adrian made small talk about the weather and Christmas plans (I planned to go home to St Louis for a week), and I found myself at ease relatively quickly. By the time that we had reached the restaurant, I was completely comfortable.

And then we stepped inside and I instantly grew nervous again. Everything about the place was opulent and perfect. I couldn't have designed a better space if I'd had all of the money in the world. Of course, Adrian behaved as if we were in McDonalds.

"Ivashkov," he told the host, who then moved to seat us immediately.

Adrian ordered wine for the both of us and though I froze momentarily, we weren't carded. Amazing, the doors that money could open.

"A bit presumptuous, don't you think?" I asked him. "Ordering for me, I mean."

"Right," he teased me. "I forgot about your extensive knowledge of alcohol. My apologies."

I decided to just move on. "This place is nice."

"Only the best for my princess."

Rolling my eyes at him, I asked, "What are your plans for after this?"

"Well, I thought we'd take a walk. The Brooklyn Bridge is gorgeous at night, as is the tree at the Rockefeller Center."

"I saw the tree with Rose and Lissa."

"At night?"

"No," I admitted. "During the day."

"We could go skating," he suggested. "If you want to."

"I'm not one for athletic pursuits. Besides, I'm wearing a dress."

His eyes danced with humor and imagination. "That could be interesting. But, okay, just the walk."

Our wine arrived and I found, upon tasting it, that it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. It didn't burn like the Sex on the Beach had, and it was almost fruity. I made a mental note to find out what it was called so that I could get some, and then I realized that it was probably about a thousand dollars a bottle.

So much for that.

Adrian ordered some appetizers for us and then asked me if I minded him ordering for me. As I didn't recognize much on the menu, I agreed. Once he had asked if there was anything I was allergic to or particularly liked or disliked, he ordered some kind of pasta dish.

"You act like you've been doing this your whole life," I commented after the waiter had walked away with our order. "Ordering at fancy restaurants, I mean. Making reservations, dropping a thousand dollars on a meal… That kind of thing."

He wasn't fazed. "I was born into high society, yes. But that doesn't mean that I do this all of the time. I was just trained to behave correctly in these situations. I'm sure I would look just as much like I belong in a fast food restaurant as I do here."

I highly doubted that, but chose not to say so. "You probably wouldn't be as happy in a fast food restaurant, though. They typically don't serve wine."

His eyes burned into mine with such intensity that I found myself unable to look away. "I'd be happy anywhere that I could be with you."

"Why do you say things like that?"

"I don't hold things back."

"Clearly."

He started asking questions about my life growing up and I answered each one, happy to be done with the weird, intense moment. It was taking more effort than I thought it should to convince myself not to let my guard down around him. The last thing that I needed was to forget all about my plan and fall in love with Adrian Ivashkov.

Maybe it would be great at first. Of course it would. But he wasn't the kind of guy that I needed in the long run. I needed someone that was ambitious and knew what hard work was. Not someone that had been born into high society and could drop thousands of dollars on a single meal. Someone that I could bring home to my parents without worrying that they would be wondering what the hell I was doing with a guy like that.

Adrian wasn't that guy.

 _You're just here because you lost a bet. There's nothing else here._

The pasta dish that I had was the best thing that I had ever eaten, unsurprisingly. As was the fancy chocolate cheesecake that we had for dessert.

After Adrian had paid for our food with his credit card – which probably had some ridiculously high limit – we walked outside and got into the limo, which had somehow known exactly when to pick us up. There were secrets about high society that I would probably never learn.

And I really didn't _want_ to learn.

We went to the Brooklyn Bridge first, and I wondered why I had never visited it at night before. It was lit up and gorgeous, and also looked kind of dangerous with all of the cars speeding by us. Tourists were crowded on the walkways and we easily joined them, walking hand in hand for a bit before deciding that it was too chilly by the water and we needed to get back to the limo, where there was heat.

"Did you know that, to prove how strong the Brooklyn Bridge was, twenty-one elephants marched across it?" Adrian asked me.

I felt my eyes widen. "Seriously?"

"True fact."

I looked it up anyway, only to find that he was absolutely right. It was actually a pretty interesting story.

The limo got us as close to the tree as we could get, and then we walked the rest of the way. I was even more in awe of the tree at night than I had been when I'd seen it with Lissa and Rose a few days earlier. There was something about it being all lit up…

 **(Never Let Me Go by Florence + the Machine)**

It had to be at least a hundred feet tall and I couldn't even venture a guess as to how many lights were needed to decorate it. I knew from research that the Swarovski Star on the top of the tree contained twenty-five thousand Swarovski crystals, one million facets, and LED lights. Whatever it was composed of, though, it was gorgeous.

I'd never been more sure about my decision to come live in New York City to go to college. The Christmas season was so magical here. I never wanted to live anywhere else, honestly. I had a feeling that I would make New York City my permanent home whenever I was done with all of my schooling.

"I was right, wasn't I?" Adrian asked me with a smug grin. "It's even better at night."

I didn't even mind admitting it. "It really is. I can't believe it." I couldn't tear my eyes away. "I can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing this. I wish I could have come here at least once every winter. It's beautiful."

"Beautiful," Adrian murmured, and something about the way that he said it made me turn to look at him.

I found him staring at me with that same intensity that he'd had earlier in the restaurant. Again, I found myself entranced, unable to look away from him. Not that I wanted to. I wanted him to always look at me with that fire in his eyes.

Slowly, as if I were a wild animal he needed to be cautious around, he lifted his hand and placed it against the side of my face, his fingers disappearing into my hair and gently touching the back of my head. His hand was so warm that I couldn't help leaning into it slightly. How were his hands still so warm in this cold weather?

Before I could even process what was happening, he had stepped closer to me, our bodies just barely touching. His other arm wrapped around my waist to pull me even closer and I didn't resist. In the next instant, his mouth was on mine in a warm, tingling kiss.

My first kiss.

It was perfect.

When he pulled back after I didn't even know how long, I stepped forward to close the distance between us and pressed my lips against his. Something carnal inside of me was begging for more, and I needed to feed it. It was like I wasn't even in control of myself anymore.

He kissed me harder, with more intensity, and I sighed in pleasure, parting my lips for him. It didn't feel like it was my first time; it felt like I had been kissing Adrian for years. I never wanted it to end.

Unfortunately, it did.

"We can go… somewhere else," Adrian said, just as out of breath as I was.

An agreement was on the tip of my tongue when suddenly, reality hit me. It was like the girl kissing Adrian had been someone else and now Sydney Sage was back. And she was _not_ happy with what had transpired.

In fact, she began to yell at me.

 _NO! I went on this date to keep my word because I lost the bet, not to actually have fun! And_ certainly _not to kiss him! What in the hell was I thinking? This wasn't part of the plan! NO DATING! And certainly no dating a guy like him_.

He was looking at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.

And I felt a pain somewhere inside, because part of me so badly wanted to kiss him again and agree to go off with him. But the more logical part of me knew that I shouldn't, not if I wanted to stick to the plan that had gotten me all the way to an Ivy League college.

So I put a wall up and stepped back, shaking my head. "I… that wouldn't be wise."

He seemed surprised, obviously noticing my change in demeanor. "That's okay. Do you want to go get some hot chocolate?"

Unwanted tears sprung to my eyes and I blinked them away, continuing to back up. "No, I… I have to go. I… goodbye." And then I spun and took off through the crowd as fast as my heels would allow me.

"Sydney!" I heard him call after me, stunned.

But the crowds were thick and it wasn't long before I was lost among them, wandering aimlessly.


	6. Chapter 5

**...**

 **Another chapter up! A special thank you is owed to those of you that have brightened my day with your reviews. I always so appreciate receiving them and I cherish each and every one. Keep them coming!**

 **I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

…

 **Chapter Five**

 **(Why Can't I? by Liz Phair)**

Adrian had called me twelve times that night after I had run away from him at the Rockefeller Center. But, coward that I was, I had refused to answer and had instead sent him a text message.

 _I made it home fine. This isn't going to work out._

He'd sent me a message back, asking if we could talk about it, but I had never replied. I didn't know what I was supposed to say because I couldn't even understand my own feelings. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to handle it.

I had to just stay in my room the next couple of days and ignore all of the knocking at my door and calls and text messages. I had to remind myself that I had a plan and that I needed to have faith in the plan, no matter how I felt in the moment. Feelings weren't always permanent, and I wasn't going to mess up a perfectly good plan just because I'd had a good kiss.

But though I had made up my mind to just forget about it, it was easier said than done. I spent the whole three-hour flight to St Louis thinking about that kiss. Spent a lot of time thinking about it while I was spending time with my family, too. Luckily, they didn't notice that anything was amiss.

Unfortunately, it was hard to forget about Adrian when he sent me several messages a day.

 _Will you please just talk to me?_

 _I don't know what I did. I'm sorry if I moved too fast. We can slow things down. Talk to me?_

 _Come on, Princess. Let's talk this out._

I contemplated blocking his number, but knew that would be childish. He wasn't threatening me or harassing me. He was just understandably confused. Hell, _I_ was confused, and I was the one that had walked away and said that the relationship wasn't going to work out. If I couldn't understand myself, I certainly didn't expect him to.

Lissa and Rose tried to call me, too, but I just sent them text messages saying that I was busy with my family in St Louis and that I would get with them when I got back to New York. And I fully intended to, but I was nervous. I didn't know what I was supposed to say to them. Lissa was really good at reading me, and I knew that she wouldn't buy it if I just said that I wasn't into Adrian.

Because I knew that I was. Denying it didn't change what I felt. I just hoped that, eventually, those feelings for him would go away. They were a distraction that I didn't want. There were plenty of reasons that my plan did not allow for a boyfriend. The most prevalent one was that boyfriends were a distraction. I had known plenty of young women that had gone off to college, gotten too serious about a relationship, and hadn't ended up achieving what they'd set out to do.

That wasn't going to be me. I was going to reach all of my goals, even if I had to deny my feelings and emotions for a few years to do it.

"You've been pretty distracted," Liam, my brother, told me as he drove me to the airport after I'd been in St Louis for a week. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," I lied.

He didn't buy it. "You lost every single game we played this week."

"So? Just some bad luck."

"I would buy that if you hadn't taken it all in stride. You've never been a very good loser. You're too competitive for that."

That was actually very true. I just hadn't cared about much lately. "I'm getting better at the sore loser thing."

"You can tell me," he said as if I hadn't spoken. "Even if it's about a guy."

I kept my face neutral. "No guys. You know the rules."

"Not _the_ rules," he corrected me. " _Your_ rules. And it's okay to break a rule every now and then, especially if it's good for you."

But I didn't share that particular philosophy. "There's no guy. I'm just off my game, I guess. Nothing to worry about."

"But you know that you can call me anytime and talk about anything?" he reminded me.

"I know," I assured him and forced a smile. "You're the best."

"I know."

The flight home seemed to take forever and I was relieved when I finally fell into my bed, asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

I woke up the next morning when my cell phone blared out the theme song of _Friends_ , my all-time favorite TV show. Groggy, I pushed myself up onto my elbows and reached for my phone, buzzing on the nightstand.

It was Lissa.

"Can't avoid her forever," I muttered to myself and yanked my phone off of the charger before answering. "Hello?"

"You got back into the city last night, right?" she asked me, dispensing with the pleasantries.

"I'm great," I told her sarcastically as I dragged myself into a sitting position. "How are you?"

She huffed. "I'm fine, thanks. Are you back in the city?"

"I got in late last night," I told her and stood, knowing that I would be up for the day. I desperately needed a shower, as I still felt kind of gross from the plane. As I began gathering up the things that I needed to get ready for the day, I said, "It was the worst flight ever. So much turbulence."

She didn't respond to that. "Want to come over?"

I hesitated. "I don't know…"

"You can't avoid me forever just because things didn't work out with you and Adrian," she said bluntly.

"So we don't have to talk about?" I asked her hopefully.

She shot my hope down. "No, we're going to talk about it, but just so that you can get everything off of your chest. But then I intend to let it go and keep being a close friend. That's okay, right?"

I would have preferred not to talk about it at all, but I was going to take what I could get. "Yeah, Liss. That's okay."

"Great," she said, settling the matter. "So, come on over. Rose is already on her way. I'll order takeout for lunch."

"I need a shower first. I smell like the plane."

"Ew," she laughed. "Hurry up. See you in an hour and a half."

That gave me about fifty minutes to get ready. Plenty of time, especially because I had no intention of getting all dressed up just to go and hang out in Lissa's apartment. So what if the rich people that lived in her building stared at me as I got onto the elevator? I wanted to be comfy.

My shower lasted twenty minutes and was beyond luxurious. When I got out, I even spoiled myself a little bit and used some of the fancy lotion that Lissa had gotten me for Christmas. It was a clean, fresh scent that suited me so well. Then, I brushed out my wet hair and dried it ever so slightly before pulling it up into a messy bun. No way was I going to mess with it today.

I pulled on gray sweatpants and a New York City T-shirt with a Columbia hoodie over it, and then added some tennis shoes. Foundation was definitely a necessity, as was some concealer to hide the shadows under my eyes, but I dispensed with the rest of my makeup. I definitely wasn't going to win any beauty awards, but I looked decent and natural.

Rose was sporting a similar look and we both laughed as we hugged each other.

Lissa laughed, too, once she finally saw what was so funny.

There were several cartons of Chinese food and we all dug in, settling in at the kitchen table. As we ate, we talked about the holidays. Apparently, I had missed a lot.

Lissa had spent the day with her family, as well as Christian and his aunt. Apparently, it had been pretty tense. Her parents still weren't crazy about Christian – and no one knew the reason – so she had spent the entire day trying to make them have a conversation with each other. Unfortunately, neither Christian nor her parents were dedicated to making the relationship better. It had been that way ever since she had started dating him, and her parents never had an answer for her when she asked them what it was about him that they didn't like. It was sad.

Rose had just spent the day with Dimitri because her parents had both been overseas on business and hadn't been able to make it back because of bad weather. She hadn't minded in the least, though, and said that she'd actually been wanting to spend the holidays just her and Dimitri together in their little apartment. She'd tried to cook and failed miserably, so they had just ordered out and eaten it in front of their Christmas tree before exchanging gifts. She said that it was the best Christmas that she had experienced in her eighteen years of life.

They asked me about mine and so I told them about the flight to St Louis, where a kid had kicked my seat nearly the entire time, even after I'd turned around and asked him to stop. I told them that it had been so good to see my family, and that my mother had actually cried at the airport when she saw me for the first time in months. Christmas at home had felt just like it had in all past years, and I told them what a relief that was, because I had been afraid that the distance would make things change.

"That reminds me," Lissa said after I talked about the presents that I had received. "I have something for you." She stood and left the room.

"It better not be another present," I called after her. "You already spoiled me too much with the presents that you got me."

"She _does_ like to go all out for Christmas," Rose agreed. "But I always just let her. More presents for me."

I rolled my eyes but laughed at Rose's blunt honesty.

Lissa came back holding a beautifully wrapped box. She handed it to me looking sheepish.

"You shouldn't have gotten me another present," I told her.

She slid back into her seat, still looking sheepish. "I didn't."

Confused, I looked at Rose, who shook her head. Shrugging, I opened it and pulled out the most beautiful cardigan I had ever seen. It was mint green – my color – and was very similar to one that I had complimented Lissa on before. I was already making plans to wear it when I saw the card at the bottom.

 _I know we're not talking right now, but I bought this after our first date. The color is lovely on you. I know you'll make it look beautiful._

 _Adrian_

"It's from Adrian," I said quietly and tried to gather my thoughts as I folded the cardigan back up and put it into the box. "Adrian got me a Christmas present."

After it became clear that I wasn't going to say anything else, Rose spoke hesitantly. "It's really pretty. Isn't that the same color as the dress Lissa bought you for your date?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Mint green. It's my color."

"Okay," Lissa obviously couldn't wait any longer. "We need to talk. What happened with Adrian?"

I looked at her in surprise. "He didn't tell you anything?"

She paused and then sighed and nodded. "He came to my apartment after you left him in Rockefeller Center. He said that you guys kissed and it was awesome and then you freaked out and left. He said he tried to call and talk to you and even came by to see you, but you wouldn't answer him."

Rose and Lissa both had a million questions in their eyes, but they thankfully held off.

"Please talk to us, Sydney," Lissa pleaded with me. "We want to help you. Just talk to us. Please."

I sighed and leaned back against my chair, closing my eyes against the flood of memories and emotion. "I don't even know what to say."

"Just tell us what happened," Rose suggested. "You don't have to explain anything right now. Just tell us about the date."

So I did.

I told them about Adrian showing up and making fun of me for being so clean and organized. I told them about the limo and the conversation that we'd had in there. I told them about the restaurant and how fancy it had been. I even told them about the wine and my food. I recalled the conversation for them as best I could from my memory, which I thought was pretty good. Then I told them about going to Brooklyn Bridge at night and how pretty it was, but how it was nothing compared to our next stop at the Rockefeller Center to look at the Christmas tree. I told them everything that I had thought about it and then I told them about the kiss and how it had felt like it wasn't really me kissing him. Then I told them about running away and going back to my dorm room alone.

When I had finished, I finally opened my eyes and looked at them.

Rose was thoughtful.

Lissa looked sad.

"What?" I finally asked after several long minutes of silence. I thought I'd given them plenty of time to process what I'd told them. I needed to know what they thought. As if maybe they could say something that would make my feelings finally go away.

 **(Try by Tyler Ward)**

"It sounds… it sounds like you have feelings for Adrian," Lissa said slowly, almost like she was giving me three months to live.

I just looked at her like she was dumb. "Yeah, that's the problem."

They just looked confused now.

"The _problem_?" Rose asked me and when I nodded, she looked even more confused. "I thought you broke things off with Adrian?" She looked at Lissa like she thought she was going crazy, but Lissa shrugged.

Now _I_ was confused.

"I _did_ break things off with Adrian," I said, thinking that maybe she was just missing something.

"But you _know_ you have feelings for him?" Rose asked me.

I had used to think that she was actually pretty smart, but I was seriously starting to doubt that. "Yes," I said slowly. "Didn't we cover that?"

"She's confused," Lissa told me. "And so am I, actually. Why would you break things off with Adrian if you have feelings for him?"

It was so simple. Why weren't they getting it? "Because I _can't_ have feelings for him."

"But you _do_ ," Rose rebutted. "You just said so. What do you mean you _can't_?"

"I _can't_ ," I repeated. "I can't have feelings for him or _any_ guy. Don't you remember me telling you about my plan? I'm going to get my degree at Columbia and then get my master's degree. And _then_ I'll start dating. Or get my doctorate degree. Either way, I can't be in a relationship right now."

They just stared at me for several long moments.

Finally, Lissa reached out and put her hand on top of mine. "You can't always plan these things, Sydney. You can't help how you feel."

"Oh, yes I can," I corrected her. "I refuse to feel this way about anyone right now, so that's it. It's done."

"But you still feel this way," Rose reminded me, smashing my reality. "It's not just going to go away because you tell it to. Take mine and Dimitri's relationship. He's seven years older than me and he felt like it was immoral to be in a relationship with me. That didn't stop him from loving me. We both tried to resist all of the things that we were feeling, but that only led to frustration. Once we finally gave in, things got a lot easier and a _lot_ better."

"Christian and I didn't wait that long after the feelings developed to get together," Lissa added, "but I can vouch for the 'getting better once you give in' thing. Fighting the feelings isn't going to work. Or do anyone any good."

They just weren't getting it. "I can't like him. I can't. He's not even what I planned to want in a guy." I went over the character trait list, just in case they didn't remember. "Adrian isn't any of those things."

"So he's not the most ambitious guy in the world," Lissa said. "He's _super_ talented. All of the paintings in this apartment are ones that he did for me."

Surprised, I looked at the one hanging to my left. "Really?" I had always admired the paintings in her apartment but hadn't thought I would be able to afford any of them. " _Adrian_ did these?"

She seemed almost smug. "He did. Because he's _talented_. And, yes, he grew up with money, but that doesn't make him bad. I grew up with money, too. Maybe we don't have the same work ethic that you do because things were easier for us, but we both got into Columbia and he's almost done with his degree there. Obviously, he's smart. As for not having a higher degree… even you admitted that wasn't at the top of your priority list, just a bonus. And he may not be humble, but he's a lot of other things."

"I didn't expect to love a cop," Rose told me. "Especially as the rebellious teenager that I was. I thought my only interaction with a cop would be getting arrested for underage drinking. But Dimitri is perfect for me."

"And obviously, my parents want me with someone else, but I _love_ Christian," Lissa added. "You love someone and it doesn't matter what you or anyone else wants. It is what it is. You have to just accept it and move on. That's life."

I shook my head, refusing to believe it, even though I knew deep down that they were right. "I can't. I spent high school sticking to the plan and it got me into an Ivy League college. I worked all the time to save money and I spent every spare minute studying and doing volunteer work. Now I'm here, and I can't let anything get in the way of that."

Lissa looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. I _felt_ kind of crazy. "Adrian isn't going to kidnap you and refuse to let you finish your degree. I'm sure he would encourage you to finish your degree."

"It would be a distraction."

There was a long pause.

Finally, Rose spoke. "Look, we certainly can't change your mind, so I'm just going to say this: these feelings aren't going to go away. Not soon, anyway. It could be _years_. And Adrian is still going to be around as long as you're friends with us, which I hope is a long time. So, I encourage you to rethink this plan of yours. But, if you absolutely won't, Lissa and I will still completely support you. We're always here for you whenever you need us. That's what best friends are for."

I nodded and let out a sigh. "Thanks, guys. I get what you're saying, but I have to stick to my plan. I wouldn't be me if I didn't."

"Okay."

"Fine," Lissa said and looked like she wanted to say more, but Rose shook her head sharply, silencing Lissa.

For the rest of the evening, we hung out in the living room and surfed all of the channels, looking for something good to watch. We talked about our upcoming semester and they were sad that I didn't have any classes in common with them, anymore. But, they promised me that we would all still try to eat lunch together and we'd still hang out all of the time.

When I was finally ready to go home, they both gave me a hug and thankfully didn't say anything else about the Adrian issue. I don't think that I could have handled any more talk about it. My brain was fried when it came to him.

That night, I tossed and turned in my bed and tried not to think about everything that Rose and Lissa had told me.

Because I knew that they were right, but I refused to admit it.

 _The plan is what you need._

 _Stick to the plan._

The plan was killing me.


	7. Chapter 6

… **..**

 **I'm so glad that you're back for another chapter! Isn't Sydney the most frustrating character ever with her annoying plan? :P Thanks to all of you that have reviewed! Make sure that you keep those reviews coming!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it! And I hope that everyone has a fun (but safe) New Year's!**

… **..**

 **Chapter Six**

 **(A Bitter Song by Butterfly Boucher)**

The spring semester passed extraordinarily slowly.

I woke up each morning, determined not to think about Adrian. My brain had other plans, however, and I spent the vast majority of my days thinking about him. Sometime around my birthday, he had stopped sending me messages every single day. I hoped that maybe he had taken the hint and had lost his interest in me.

Even though the thought made me irrationally sad, I knew that it would be for the best. I didn't need to be wishing for him to wait for me to finish school. I didn't need to be wanting to get together with him at all. Rose had said that it would take time to get over him, so I was going to give it some time. I could pull through. I knew that I could.

Lissa and Rose thought that I was ridiculous, but they didn't say anything about it too often, for which I was grateful. I couldn't explain my feelings to myself, so I didn't know how I would even begin going about explaining it to them.

The few times that I _did_ see Adrian (over at Lissa's apartment, usually), I did my best to avoid him or to at least be around other people when he approached me so that we couldn't talk about our date. When he asked if we could talk, I just told him that I was too busy. Hopefully, I would be able to keep that up for a few years. That's clearly how long it was going to take.

For my birthday in February, Lissa got me Disney World tickets. Confused, I asked her about it.

"Oh, we're all going to Disney World in May, after finals are over. You're coming, too." It wasn't a question, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Who's 'we'?" I asked her.

"Me, Rose, Christian, Dimitri, Eddie, Mason, Jill, and…" She broke off and looked at me guiltily.

"Adrian," I guessed, because no one else would make her pause like that.

She nodded and then spoke firmly. "But you're still coming. And you're going to have fun. No matter what."

"I'm sure I will," I told her. "I've always wanted to go to Disney World."

"Well, now's your chance," she said, thrilled that I didn't throw a fit about Adrian coming along. "And, you get an even bigger break because you're going to share a room with Jill, if you don't mind. Christian and I are rooming together, and so are Rose and Dimitri. Eddie and Mason are getting a room together, and I don't want Jill to be all alone."

I wanted to ask what Adrian was doing, but I didn't. He could have afforded to buy the freaking hotel; he would be fine on his own. Besides, rooming with Lissa's little sister would be nice. I'd met Jill only a handful of times, but I really liked her. She was cheery and kind, with eyes the same shade of Lissa's and light brown hair always curled. She was planning to start Columbia in the fall and be an elementary teacher someday.

"I don't mind rooming with Jill. Do I need to pay you or your parents or…?"

She waved off my offer. "My parents have already paid in full for the room. It's a suite, so you and Jill will each have your own bedroom. But she's super excited to be rooming with you." Lissa rolled her eyes, but it was full of affection for her kid sister. "She adores you."

I adored her as well. She was sweet. "Are you sure I don't need to pay your parents?"

"No way. They said to tell you that having you there to look after Jill will be payment enough. They also said to tell you 'happy birthday' from them."

Lissa's parents liked me, even more than they seemed to like Christian. "That was sweet of them."

"So, you're coming. End of story. You even have first class plane tickets." She handed them over.

I looked down at them in shock. I'd never even dreamed of flying first class. "Liss, the tickets were really enough."

"They're not from me." She looked sheepish. "Adrian told me to give them to you because he didn't think you'd want to see him."

"I can't accept them."

"He also said they're nonrefundable."

I sighed and put the tickets with the ones Lissa had given me. "Fine. At least he's giving me my space now."

"He said that maybe if he gave you space to think, you'd realize how much you miss him."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Did you tell him anything that I said?"

She looked offended. "Of course not! I wouldn't betray you like that."

Of course she wouldn't. I sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. Tell him 'thank you' for me." I wasn't impolite by any stretch of the imagination.

"I will. Or… you could tell him yourself. Talk to him and realize that your feelings aren't going away."

"I don't need to talk to him to realize that my feelings aren't going away." I felt them all of the time, but I didn't tell her that. She would only encourage me to obey them. "It's going to take some time, but they'll eventually go away. They have to. And maybe it'll go faster now that he doesn't talk to me anymore." I only hoped that the trip to Disney World wouldn't ruin all of the progress that I'd made.

Surely not… there would be plenty of other people there, and Adrian seemed to be giving me space lately. Hopefully that pattern would hold.

March and April seemed to fly by, but perhaps that's because I didn't give myself free time during the day. Free time would lead to me thinking about Adrian, and that would eventually lead to me giving in and getting into a relationship with him. That simply wouldn't do. So, I asked my professor to let me work more hours in the lab. I spent a lot of time studying and even tutoring for some extra money. I hung out with Lissa and Rose, and tried to avoid Adrian at all costs. I started studying for finals early. Anything I could do to stay busy.

Once finals had ended, I went out with Lissa and Rose to celebrate finishing our first year of college. Technically, it was my second year, but I didn't point that out. Even when Rose toasted to 'three more years'. I only had two, but why brag? Besides, I didn't want to jinx it.

Lissa told us to go home earlier than usual so that we could pack our bags. Our flight to Orlando would leave at ten in the morning and take three hours, putting us there at one. Then, we would have to get our bags and go get the rental cars that Adrian and Dimitri had reserved to drive us all around. We would check into our hotel and then go to Downtown Disney to explore and have some dinner. Then, the real fun would begin on Monday, when we planned to visit Magic Kingdom, supposedly the greatest of all Disney World parks.

I had saved packing for the last minute, and for once I was glad that I had procrastinated. It gave me something to do until I was so tired that I had to force myself to shower and brush my teeth before bed. Then, I fell into a dreamless sleep, for which I was also grateful. Lately, I had been dreaming a lot about Adrian.

The next morning, I woke up early and made myself some coffee with the machine that Rose and Dimitri had gotten me for my birthday. I had just moved into my new apartment (still student housing, but better than the dorms), and that coffee machine had been one of the first things that I unpacked. I loved it for its ability to make perfect coffee every time.

Lissa, Christian, Rose, and Dimitri picked me up in Christian's car half an hour later and then we headed for the airport, all of us incredibly excited and talking about all of the things that we wanted to do. I had extensively researched Disney World and I knew what things I absolutely _had_ to do, and also which things I would probably want to skip. I had also transferred a substantial (for me) amount from my savings into my checking account so that I could use it while I was there. I planned on buying several souvenirs.

The airport was crowded, as I knew it would be, but Christian paid a valet to park is car so that we could just get out right in front and walk inside together. Eddie and Mason were already there, along with Jill and Lissa's parents, who had come to see their daughters off. I talked to them for a bit before drifting over to Eddie and Mason, who were just as excited as I was. Even though we were all college kids, we were ridiculously excited for Disney World, and we weren't ashamed of it. We were all still kids at heart and probably always would be.

Adrian was the last one to show up and I stayed as far away from him as I could, rushing to go through security first. Once we'd done that, we sat and waited to board our flight, which was slightly behind. I stayed in a conversation with Rose and Lissa, keeping an eye on Adrian, who was talking with Eddie and Mason. Then, when it was time to board, I eagerly rushed forward. Mason and Eddie, along with Rose and Dimitri, were not in first class, so they had to sit back and wait. I almost felt guilty, because I should have been with them.

There wasn't a huge difference in first class and coach because it was a smaller plane, but first class definitely had more leg room and was a little bit nicer than the back of the plane. I gratefully slid into my window seat and settled in, wondering who my neighbor would be.

It was Adrian.

 **(Days Go On by Greg Laswell)**

I watched him sit down and knew that the shock on my face was probably comical to an outsider.

Adrian looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows. "Problem, Princess?"

"Did you… did you buy me those tickets so that I would be sitting next to you on this flight? Did you _plan_ this?"

"I did, but not for the reason you think. It wasn't to force you to talk to me or anything." He shrugged. "I thought we would have made up by now. I never expected you to be stubborn and not talk to me for months."

" _Stubborn_?" I'd said it loud enough that a few people looked over at me curiously and I blushed.

"Yes, stubborn." His green eyes danced with amusement, but there was also a sadness there that didn't fit with his personality.

"I'm not stubborn," I said, forcing myself to remain quiet. "I just don't want to be with you."

"Don't you?" He said it as if he'd plucked it directly from my mind, and I was aggravated because he was onto something. I just couldn't let him know that.

"Thanks for the tickets, but this doesn't mean we're getting together." I turned to stare out the window, wondering how I was going to make three hours pass when he was sitting right next to me. Especially when all I could think about was our kiss by that tree back in December.

Again, as if reading my mind, he leaned close to me. I could smell his divine, expensive cologne. Then he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. "I'm not an idiot. I'm actually _very_ good at reading people. That kiss _meant something_ to you, just like it did to me. I have no idea why you're denying that to yourself, but the sooner you stop, the sooner you can be happy with me."

I didn't look at him. I knew that he would be giving me that intense look that made me feel like I was burning on the inside. "If that's what you think."

"It's what I _know_ ," he said matter-of-factly.

Before I could say anything else, the plane door was closing and the flight attendants began going through the safety protocols. I pretended to pay attention, even though I'd heard the speech a few times before and wasn't too worried about it. Flying wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but most of the flights that I'd had as an adult hadn't been too bad. I just hoped that this one didn't take the full three hours, because I didn't know what would happen if I had to be stuck next to Adrian for that long.

As the plane began to take off into the air, I gripped my arm rests, letting out a breath.

 _It's going to be okay. Soon, you'll be up in the air at a cruising altitude and it's going to be fine_.

But as the plane was still rising, there was a big blast of wind and the plane shook.

I took a sharp intake of breath and gripped the armrests even tighter, terrified.

Adrian grabbed my hand and I squeezed it reflexively, holding on for dear life. Only when the plane had righted itself and we'd been cruising for a full three minutes did I realize that I was still holding his hand. I hastily released it, blushing.

He was unaffected, expression full of concern that he shouldn't have had. I wasn't his responsibility. "Are you okay?"

Since I'd squeezed his hand so tightly, I felt like I at least owed him an explanation. "I'm not crazy about flying. Too many physics problems involving planes, I guess." But there was more to it than that. Being so high up with absolutely no control… it freaked me out. It had always freaked me out.

Adrian seemed to know there was more to it, but he didn't say anything about it. "I suppose that would do it. Do you feel okay? Not lightheaded or anything?"

"No." His concern was touching and my guard went down for a moment. Long enough for me to notice how attractive he still was. His chestnut hair was as stylishly messy as always, and he was dressed casually in jeans and a green cotton tee that brought out the color of his eyes. He was, of a certainty, one of the most gorgeous guys on the planet. Much to my aggravation. He would have been so much easier to resist if he'd been ugly.

Adrian seemed to realize that my guard was down, so he took the opportunity to lean a little closer so that he could whisper to me. "I wish you could just let yourself try a relationship with me. I wouldn't push for anything that you don't want. We don't have to move fast. I just want to be with you. And I'm pretty sure you want to be with me, too."

Oh, how badly I did. But I stayed strong and shook my head. "I can't."

He raised an eyebrow. "Can't isn't _won't_. What do you mean, you _can't_? It's actually pretty easy. We go out to dinner and I pay. We go watch a movie or go to the park or just hang out at my apartment. We hold hands and kiss and… maybe other things, whenever you're ready for that. I introduce you to people as my girlfriend, you introduce me as your boyfriend and _bam._ Relationship. I don't see how there's anything there that you physically _can't_ do."

"I have a plan." I had no idea why I was even explaining it to him. I just couldn't stand the thought of him hurting because of me. "I made it when I was in high school. Study hard, do volunteer work, save money, and get into an Ivy League college. I did that. Now, the plan is to finish my chemistry degree at Columbia and apply for the Rhodes Scholarship. Once I get it, I'll go and get my masters at Oxford. _Then_ I'll try to start dating while I get my doctorate degree. There's no time for a relationship right now."

He blinked slowly, almost as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "So, you're saying that you _can't_ have a relationship with me not because you don't feel anything for me, but because you have a _plan_? Like your obsessive _cleaning chart_?"

I was immediately defensive. "The plan has worked so far, okay? I'm going to graduate from Columbia with my degree and then I'm going to go to Oxford. I can't let you get in the way of that. I _won't_."

Adrian just looked confused. "I'm not planning to stop you. Finish your degree, by all means. I have a year left of mine and I have every intention of finishing it. I know that a degree is important. And if you want to go to Oxford, then go to Oxford. I'll come with you. I can paint from anywhere."

I shook my head. He needed to understand what I was saying. "I'll be busy. I need to focus on my degree. Oxford focuses a lot on research, so I'll be in the lab _all the time_. And I need to keep a perfect GPA."

He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "Then I'll just visit on the weekends. I don't mind the flying, unlike you, apparently. Problem solved."

I was growing frustrated. "Problem _not_ solved."

"You're seriously telling me that you _have_ feelings for me, but you won't act on them because of some stupid plan that you made up in ninth grade," he growled.

"Eighth," I corrected.

He rolled his eyes. "Even worse. You weren't even in _high_ _school_ back then."

"But that plan got me _through_ high school and into an Ivy League college. Where I'm from, that's a big deal. Especially because I got a full ride. And I'm going to do everything I need to do to keep it. Including not letting myself get distracted by a relationship."

"I distract you?" he asked and seemed almost pleased by this.

I was frustrated. "You're not getting it."

"No, I get it," he clarified. "I just think it's insane. Why are you so afraid to _feel_? You're hiding behind this stupid plan and I don't understand why. Be brave. _Feel_ all of the feelings. _Act_ on your feelings. Everything can still work out for the best."

"I'm sticking to the plan," I said firmly. "You're not going to change my mind."

After a few moments, he must have seen that I was serious. Sighing, he faced forward. "Fine."

I contemplated giving him the "let's just be friends" speech, but decided that it wasn't the right time. Besides, I didn't even know how to give that speech. I had no experience; I'd only seen it done in movies and read it in books. I would probably make a mess of it, just like I had only moments before. Better to give it time and see what happened.

The rest of the flight was uneventful and the landing was nice and smooth, just what I wanted. We got off of the plane, collected our baggage, and then went over to the rental car place so that Adrian and Dimitri could get the cars. We'd let them do it because they were over twenty-one and it was cheaper to do it that way.

I rode with Dimitri, Rose, and Jill, and it took us nearly an hour to get to the Animal Kingdom resort because the traffic was pretty bad from lunch hour. But after arriving at the hotel and seeing the suite I'd be staying in, I knew that it had all been worth it.

The room had a safari view, which meant that we could look out our window or go out onto our balcony and see the animals. The suite itself was nice as well, clean and fancy. It was decorated in an African style and I thought it was pretty cool. So did Jill, if her constant chatter about the room was anything to go by. She was certainly going to be a talkative roommate.

At dinner that evening, I caught Adrian giving those burning, longing looks.

Each time that he did, I had to force myself to look away and not give in.

 _Stay strong. Believe in the plan._

The stupid, stupid plan.


	8. Chapter 7

… **..**

 **Thanks for coming back to read yet another chapter of my story! I enjoy the reviews so much, so don't forget to keep them coming! Even just one word brightens my day so much!**

 **I think these next few chapters are going to be my favorite to write because I LOVE Disney World so much. I actually went there on my honeymoon and I can't wait to go back. Is once a year too much…? Have any of you been to Disney World? What was your favorite part?**

 **If I had to pick a favorite ride in every park, they would be: Space Mountain, Soarin', Tower of Terror (which they actually took out and I am SO sad about that), and Expedition Everest (probably my most favorite; the last time that I was there, I rode it seven times).**

 **I hope that you enjoy this next chapter!**

… **..**

 **Chapter Seven**

 **(Good Charlotte by The Anthem)**

After I'd graduated from high school, my parents had given me the option of taking a trip of my choice or them giving me ten thousand dollars that they'd saved up. I'd chosen the ten thousand dollars (I'd known that I would be going to Columbia and living in New York City could get ridiculously expensive), but after being at Disney World for less than an hour, I started to wish that I had chosen to take a trip to Disney World instead.

Monday morning, we all got up early and had breakfast together before getting into the cars and heading to Magic Kingdom. Even Adrian's blatant flirting at breakfast could do nothing to dampen my spirits. I was like a little kid on Christmas morning, full of excitement and anticipation. Jill felt much the same way, and we chattered incessantly the entire car ride to the park. After paying for closer parking, we went and boarded the ferry that would take us to Magic Kingdom.

Naturally, Adrian finagled his way close to me at the back of the ship. He leaned up against the railing beside me and I did my best not to look at him, just continuing to stare out over the water. All around us, people chattered, but Adrian had a way of making it seem like we were the only two people in the world. It annoyed the hell out of me.

"You know," he began conversationally, "they say that Disney World is the most magical place on earth."

"Do they?" I murmured. "Well, it's clearly affecting your fashion sense."

He looked down at his outfit, which consisted of a gray Mickey Mouse T-shirt, black athletic shorts that hung loosely to his knees, and some Nike tennis shoes. The only thing that was still the same was his messy chestnut hair. "I'll have you know, this is considered the _height_ of fashion at Disney World. Mickey rocks."

"I never took you for a Mickey Mouse fan."

He gasped in mock hurt. "You wound me. Mickey Mouse is my idol."

I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of his statement. But I quickly began to wish that I hadn't. He was smiling over at me and doing that thing with his eyes… the thing that made me feel like I was burning on the inside. I quickly looked back at the water, trying to break the hold that look had on me.

"I haven't gotten to hear your laugh in a long time," he said quietly, and somehow, I could still hear him over the chattering crowd. "I've missed it."

Something inside of me ached, longing to drop everything and allow myself to _feel_. But the logical part of my brain stood strong and told me that I absolutely could _not_ forget about the plan. It was hard right now because of the emotions, but it would soon get easier and easier to resist him. Before long, I wouldn't even want him anymore.

 _Yeah, right…_

Once we'd docked at Magic Kingdom, I rushed to Lissa's side and we all walked together to the gates. Once inside, we formulated a plan. For the first part of the day, we would stay together and ride the rides everyone agreed on and after lunch, we were to split into pairs and stay with that person at all times. Of course, Lissa was going to be with Christian and Rose was going to be with Dimitri. Eddie and Mason quickly teamed up. And before Adrian could call out to me, Jill said that she wanted to be my partner. It made more sense for Adrian to be alone, anyway, as he was older.

Except, Adrian was never technically alone. After lunch, he trailed Jill and me all over the park. Jill didn't even notice because she was so entranced by everything that she saw, but it was like he was there every single time that I turned around. And I found it hard to believe that he was simply interested in every single attraction that we were. I also wanted to know how, as a single rider, he kept up with us after rides.

At the end of the day, we ate dinner and then gathered close to Cinderella's castle to watch the fireworks show that Magic Kingdom apparently had every night. I stood next to Jill and Adrian stood right behind me, never touching me, but close enough that I could feel him breathing. And then, almost as if to heighten the romantic mood, the couples of our group made out during the fireworks show. As if I needed a reminder of what I was missing out on by choosing to remain single and focus on my education.

Thanks, guys.

I was silent on the car ride home, but no one noticed because Jill talked enough for everyone. Even once we trekked into our room at a little past midnight, she couldn't stop talking about how amazing the day was. In fact, I was pretty sure that she kept talking when I went into the bathroom to take a shower.

I fell into bed that night and sleep was a long time coming. Because all that I could think about was what it would have felt like to have been able to make out with Adrian underneath the exploding lights of that firework show.

Epcot was next up on our list of parks, and we talked about our plan over a really early breakfast. It was all I could do to pay attention, as I had only gotten about two and a half hours of sleep the night before due to my fantasies. In the end, Jill had to recap them for me. Since there were so many "countries" to visit at Epcot, we were going to spend the first half of the day together and then split off just before lunch. This time, we would be going off on our own unless we wanted to stay together. Jill didn't seem to mind one way or another, so I said that we could just go off on our own. I planned to try to visit every country. The only rule that we had was that we had to send a message in the group chat when we were headed back to the hotel so that we could keep tabs on each other. If we wanted to leave on our own, we'd have to take the buses that circulated between the resorts.

Unfortunately, I got sick on the very first attraction. It was called Mission: Space, and it was made to simulate an astronaut's experience. Four people sat in a cramped pod made to look like the inside of the spaceship, and each person had a couple of buttons that they had to press at some point in the ride. It also simulated takeout, flying, and landing. And since I hadn't eaten very much at breakfast, it ended up making me really dizzy.

I tried to just shake it off and get over it, but Adrian had to go and point it out to everyone. "Are you okay, Sydney? You look like you're about to pass out."

I opened my mouth to tell him that was how I felt, as well, but I began to stagger off to the left. Evidently, I could no longer walk and talk at the same time.

Mason caught me by my arm and maneuvered me to a bench nearby, where I gratefully sat down and rested my head between my knees, praying that the world would right itself soon. Above me, I heard concerned voices, but I could only make out every few sentences.

"She didn't eat much at breakfast." That was from Lissa.

"Do you think she's actually going to pass out?" This from either Mason or Eddie. Sometimes, they were difficult to tell apart by voice alone.

"…stay with her," someone else said and a wave of nausea wouldn't allow me to discern who it was.

What felt like hours later, a bottle of water and a muffin of some kind appeared in my field of vision. Gratefully, I took them and began to eat. I already felt a little bit better, but the food and water did a tremendous job in getting me the rest of the way.

When I finally looked up completely, I was surprised to see only Adrian standing there, looking identical to how he had the day before, save that his T-shirt was from the Space Mountain gift shop. Concern was etched on his face and before I could ask him what he was doing here, he said, "How do you feel?"

"Better. Where did everyone go?"

"I told them that they could go on with their day," he answered and sat beside me on the bench, looking me over as though he thought I was still in danger of passing out. Maybe I was. "I volunteered to stay behind with you and make sure you're okay."

"I just didn't eat enough at breakfast and that was a lot of jostling."

"That it was," he agreed. Then, he grinned. "I was the commander. Which character were you?"

"Engineer," I grumbled, still slightly nauseous. "Should we catch up with the others?"

"Sure." He pulled out his phone and made a call. After talking for close to a minute, he hung up and stood, holding out his hand to me. "They're in line at Test Track. We can get in behind them and trail them for a bit until we're able to catch up with them."

But we were never able to catch up with them.

Instead, Adrian and I stood in line for Test Track for close to forty-five minutes and then rode it. The others had already moved to another ride, so we got in line for that one as well. They were already on another ride by the time that we finished. So, we all agreed to get a FastPass for Soarin' so that we could rejoin. Not that it would do much good, as we were about to split off for the day anyway.

Adrian and I met the others for Soarin' and, somehow, Adrian had managed to finagle his way onto the seat next to me. I tried not to let it bother me. I had made a mistake admitting my feelings for him and now, it was going to take even longer for him to give up.

After Soarin', it was time for us all to split for the day. Lissa made us go over the rules again and then we began to break off from each other. Jill asked me if I minded her tagging along with me for a while and when I told her I didn't, we headed off in search of a place to eat lunch. We finally decided on a place inside of what looked like a Mayan pyramid. It was dark and cool inside, offsetting the heat of the day. And the place itself was cool in the pop culture sense of the word. It had a cool, old-time Latin theme going on.

Just as we were about to tell the hostess that it would be just the two of us, a voice spoke up from behind us. "Well, well, well. Imagine running into the two of you here." Adrian, grinning, stepped forward and held up three fingers to the hostess. "Three, please."

I was annoyed but couldn't say anything, as Jill didn't mind at all. She was actually quite fond of her older cousin, I had discovered over the last couple of days. And he seemed fond of her, as well.

After we had ordered, Jill began to chat with Adrian, asking him what he thought of Disney World. He had been before with his family, but he said it was even more fun with friends. He looked at me as he said it, as if telling me that I was the reason he was having so much fun.

"I've never gotten to hear much about you," Jill told me. "I mean, I obviously know that you go to Columbia and everything, but where are you from? Missouri, right?"

"Yeah, St Louis. But up until high school, I moved around a lot with my family. My father worked for the State Department and my mother ran a graphic design business online from wherever we were. Before my freshman year, we finally settled down in St Louis."

Jill asked several questions about what my father had done for the State Department, but I really didn't have that many answers. The stuff that my father had done had been pretty classified and he didn't talk about it now. I only knew that we moved almost every single year ever since I was five. And I was glad that we had finally stopped.

"Tell me about your brothers," she requested. "I always wanted a brother. I mean, Lissa is great, but I don't remember Andre…" She trailed off and suddenly seemed sad.

"Andre?" I questioned, looking at Adrian.

He glanced at Jill and, once she had nodded his approval, told me, "Lissa and Jill had an older brother. Andre. He died when Lissa was five."

"I was four," Jill added quietly, twisting her napkin in her hands.

"Oh my God," I said softly. "I'm so sorry. What… what happened?"

It was Adrian who answered. "We were at the Hamptons, on the beach. Andre was obsessed with sharks back then and he wanted to go hunt some. Our parents weren't paying attention and Andre and I kept diving over and over again to try to find some. We didn't know it, but we kept getting farther and farther away from the shore." He paused and swallowed hard. "And then he didn't come up anymore."

It was like a black cloud had suddenly settled over all of us. Adrian was, for once, quiet and contemplative. Jill looked incredibly sad, and I was at a loss for what to say. I was the only one that thanked the server that brought our food.

"I'm so sorry," I finally said. "Jill… I didn't mean to bring up such a painful memory."

She looked up at me and gave me a sad smile. "I don't even remember it, actually. It's hardest for Adrian. He and Andre were really close."

Adrian shrugged, obviously not wanting Jill to feel any worse than she already did. He smiled at her. "Let's enjoy our time at Disney World, shall we? It's not every day that you get to be in the most magical place on earth. So, Sydney, tell us about your brothers."

Eager to do anything that would help brighten Jill's day, I began to talk about Lee, Lance, and Liam. I told her that Lee had decided not to go to college and, instead, had become a cop. Recently, he'd passed his detective exam and was enjoying the change. Lance had just graduated college the year before, majoring in Criminal Justice, and was currently training at the FBI Academy. And Liam was in college in St Louis, planning to pursue a degree in accounting, of all things. I threw in a couple of funny stories just for fun.

By the time that lunch was over, Jill was her usual happy self again and was chattering happily about all of the stuff that she wanted to do with the rest of her day. In fact, she had so many things that she wanted to do that she ended up separating from Adrian and me soon after lunch was over (Adrian paid for everyone's food, much to my aggravation).

Adrian walked out of the restaurant with me and stuck to my side, casually walking with his hands in his pockets.

 **(Stay by Shaun Reynolds)**

"What, exactly, are you doing?" I asked him when it became clear that he was not going to go off to do his own thing.

"Same thing you are."

"Yes, I noticed that. That's why I asked."

"I don't follow."

I huffed and stopped walking so that I could face him. Reluctantly, he did the same, waiting patiently for me to speak. "We talked about this, Adrian."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "We talked about walking around Epcot together? When did this happen and how drunk was I?"

 _Be calm. You have to stay calm, no matter what he says to get to you. That's what he wants. Don't let him._ "We talked about how there can't be anything between us."

"No," he corrected. " _You_ talked about how we can't be together. If you'll recall, I told you that it was ridiculous for you to ignore something that would make you happy in lieu of a plan that you put together in the eighth grade. You, however, refuse to see reason."

It really took all of my willpower to remain calm. " _You're_ the one not seeing reason, Adrian. I don't want to be with you." I was careful to enunciate every word very clearly.

He leaned so close that I could smell the gum he was chewing. "No, you _want to_. You just _won't_. Again, because of a stupid plan you developed in eighth grade."

"A plan that had gotten me to where I am today," I reminded him. "Not a lot of people get full ride scholarships to Ivy League schools."

"You got that because you're smart. Smarter than most people. And, yes, you worked hard to get here, but the fact that you had a plan isn't the whole reason that you got into Columbia. And I hate to be the one to break this to you, but life doesn't go exactly the way that we plan."

"I know that," I snapped at him. "And I know that things are going to come up that I don't expect. Some things are just going to be out of my control. But this…" I moved my hand back and forth in the small space between us. " _This_ , I _can_ control. I can't have a relationship right now. Other things need my attention."

"Then I'll wait." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "How long?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I'm saying. I don't _want_ you to wait for me. I need to be with someone… someone different."

"Why is it so hard to admit that you have strong feelings for me?"

I groaned in frustration and continued walking. "Why is it so hard for you to just leave me alone?"

"Because I have feelings for you and I know that you have feelings for me, too. You're just being ridiculous."

Since talking obviously wasn't doing any good, I just decided to remain silent. Even if he wanted to walk with me, that didn't mean that I had to talk to him. Maybe the silent treatment would make my point for me.

But by the end of the day, he still seemed unaffected. He stuck with me everywhere that I went and paid for dinner, even though I insisted that I could pay for my own meal. As with everything else I'd been telling him, he didn't listen.

One by one, the others sent text messages through the group text Lissa had set up, telling everyone that they were heading back to the hotel. Rose and Dimitri were the first to do so, and I had a feeling I knew why they were heading back so early. Eddie was next, followed an hour and a half later by Mason. Then Lissa and Christian, who had caught up with Jill and were taking her back with them so that she didn't have to go alone.

That left only Adrian and I in Epcot, watching the fireworks together.

After the show was over, he held up the car keys. "Want a ride back to the resort?"

I hesitated, thinking that I might rather ride the bus.

"Take the bus if you want," he said and began to walk off. "It'll be over an hour before you get back to the hotel."

After a moment more of thought, I jogged to catch up with him.


	9. Chapter 8

… **..**

 **Thanks so much for coming back for another chapter and a BIG thank you to those of you that have taken the time out of your day to leave a review for the story. I love reading the reviews and I am totally open to suggestions on what you think should happen next or things that I can do to improve my writing. I'm in a creative writing class right now and the instructor is always telling us that constructive criticism is essential for improving.**

 **I hope that you all enjoy this next chapter!**

… **..**

 **Chapter Eight**

 **(Such Great Heights by The Postal Service)**

It took us a while to find the car because there were so many cars and even more people, but luckily, we were parked near the front. Adrian opened my door for me and though I wanted to object, I held my tongue and just got into the car. It was late and I didn't want to say anything I'd regret just because I was cranky and needed sleep. I would just keep my mouth shut on the way home and go to bed as soon as we were back at the resort.

"Text the group and tell them we're on our way back, would you?" Adrian asked me as he started the Dodge Dart, the car that he had chosen from the rental lot.

I did as he'd asked and then sat quietly, staring out the window. It was taking a while to even get out of the enormous parking lot because it appeared that everyone had left at the exact same time. It felt like I could have made it faster by walking.

"You really didn't know about Andre?" Adrian asked me curiously after about ten minutes of silence.

I was surprised by the topic, but at least it wasn't about my feelings. "No, I really didn't. Lissa told me that she had a sister but she never mentioned Andre."

"It was hard on her," he sighed. "She doesn't remember him very well, but more so than Jill. And she feels guilty because her parents were paying more attention to her than to Andre. She thinks that if they had seen him going out too far, they could have stopped him and he would still be here."

"Well, maybe that's not so far off," I said slowly, treading lightly. "Your parents should have been paying attention."

He shrugged, unaffected by my criticism. "I agree. But I don't think it does any good to look at an event from the past and think about what you could have done differently or what could have happened differently. That's a good way to drive yourself crazy."

"When bad things happen, it's natural for people to want to think of what they could have done differently."

"Yes," he agreed. "But dwelling on it for _years_ can be damaging. I think she's gotten better about thinking about him, though. She doesn't talk about him too much, anymore."

"What about you?" I didn't know why I cared, but I did. He'd looked so sad earlier, when he'd been telling me the story. "I mean, it had to be hard on you."

"It was. Andre was my best friend and favorite cousin. We did everything together."

"Did you ever blame yourself?"

"For a long time," he nodded. "My mother finally made me go to a child psychologist, who talked to me about survivor's guilt. I had to keep going to counseling for a little over a year, but I came out of it okay, in the end. I finally realized that I can feel bad about what happened without feeling like it's my fault."

I nodded in agreement. "That's true. I'm glad that your mother got you into counseling. It could have really messed you up, otherwise."

He grinned at me. "There are those that say I'm _still_ messed up."

I rolled my eyes at him. "That's also true. You know, it actually really surprised me. I always think of people that have money as… I don't know… as if nothing ever touches them. But it does. You have your own challenges and skeletons in the closet."

"Skeletons in the closet doesn't sound like the right term," he said. "But you're right about rich people having their own challenges. Everyone has challenges in their life. It's easy to look at a group of people and judge them by their stereotype. I just didn't figure that you were that way."

He didn't say it to be mean, but his words still stung.

They also made me think. Had I been too quick to lump Adrian in with all rich people? Was I too harsh to say that I didn't want to date someone that came from money? Probably… but I still didn't want to date Adrian. Or anyone, right now.

"I try not to be," I finally said, so quietly that I didn't even think that he could hear me.

But apparently, he did. "Is one of the reasons you won't date me that I'm rich? Because _I'm_ not technically rich. My _family_ is rich."

I tried to be careful, yet truthful, with my answer. "I… Part of my plan for a guy – when I decide I'm finally ready to date – is that he's ambitious, humble, kind, preferably has a graduate degree, and not from money. Not that people that grew up with money are bad – I mean, most of my friends that I have now come from money – but I need a guy that knows how to work hard."

"And you don't think that people with money know how to work hard?" He scoffed. "You should see how often my mother and father work. They're never at home. I feel like I was raised by our maid. Trust me, there was no lack of work ethic in my house growing up."

"But you're…" I wasn't sure how to phrase it diplomatically.

"A goofball?" he supplied with a small smile. "Yeah. My counselor said it was some kind of coping mechanism. I don't know if I believe that, but…" He shrugged. "That's why they pay him the big bucks, I guess."

"You said it wasn't _you_ that was rich, so how do you get your money?" I was genuinely curious.

"They started putting money into an account for me before I was even born." He seemed almost reluctant to talk about it. "And then kept putting money in. A lot of money. And they still put money in. They want to help me through college. Don't your parents send you money every month?"

I had probably mentioned that little fact with the group before. "Yes. Three hundred dollars. I have a feeling that your parents give you a little more than that."

He looked almost sheepish. "A little. I'm not going to give you a number, though, because you'll just insult me some more."

"I'm not trying to insult you."

"That's a first."

I kept my mouth shut and just stared out the window. Did he think that I had been attacking him? My brothers had always told me that when I was curious about something, I acted like an interrogator. I hoped that I hadn't come off too harsh.

"I've never told anyone that I went to counseling," he said after a few minutes of silence. I had almost thought that he was actually done talking for the night. "So I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mention it to anyone."

Surprise washed over me. "Of course. But why… why didn't you tell anyone? Counseling isn't a bad thing. I'm sure Lissa's parents made her and Jill go to counseling, too."

"They did," he confirmed and merged onto the interstate. "I don't know… I just never wanted anyone to know."

"Okay." It wasn't my place to tell anyone, anyways. "I won't say anything to anyone."

"Thanks."

The rest of the drive passed in silence but my mind was racing. Why had Adrian told me that he had gone to counseling if he'd never told anyone else? Did he really trust me that much? Or had he really told other people but he wanted me to think that he was being vulnerable with me so that I would do the same? No… it hadn't been that. The look on his face and the tone of his voice… it had been real.

We had just pulled into the parking lot when my phone began to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the display.

 _Lissa_

"Hey," I answered and watched Adrian put the car into park. "Just got back to the hotel."

"Oh, okay," she said, and I could hear some noise in the background. "I was just checking since I didn't hear from you after your last message. Is Adrian back, too?"

I glanced over at him again. "Yeah."

"Okay. Well, we're in mine and Christian's suite, if either of you want to come by. But I know it's late, so don't feel too obligated."

"I'll let him know," I assured her.

"Cool. Later." She hung up.

"Let me know what?" Adrian asked.

I opened my door and heard Adrian doing the same. As I stood up, I said, "Lissa said that they're having a gathering in her room right now. She said we're welcome to come by, but she knows it's late, so she won't hold it against us if we don't go."

We began to walk towards the hotel and the silence was a little bit creepy to me. I felt like a hotel should have been a hub of activity, even so late at night.

"Are you going to go?" he asked me. He didn't seem to be bothered by the lack of noise at all. He was, as always, casual.

I checked the time on my phone. 12:43. "Man, that drive took even longer than I expected it to. I don't know…" I thought about it for a moment, weighing the pros and cons, as I frequently did when trying to make a decision. "I guess I'll go for a little bit, but I really need to get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping well."

"Has something been keeping you up?" He said it with concern, but I was paranoid that he knew that the reason that I hadn't been sleeping was that I had been thinking about him.

Of course, I wasn't going to tell him that. If I did, it would go directly to his head. No one wanted that. "I think it's just being in a new place. When we used to move every year, I would always have trouble sleeping for the first week or so. I'm a homebody. When I first moved to New York City, it took a whole _month_ before I could fall asleep at night like I needed to."

"I'm surprised you're not more used to being in new places," he commented and we walked into the hotel. It was mostly deserted in the lobby, just a few cleaning people bustling around and dusting and scrubbing. Adrian and I tried to stay out of their way.

"I don't know where Lissa and Christian's suite is," I said as we got onto the elevator. "But I can call her and find out."

"No need." He pushed the button for the top floor. "It's safari view and right next to mine. I'll show you."

"Are you going to stay?" Maybe if he was, I shouldn't go. We had spent enough time together for one day and the tension between us was almost palpable. It was better not to tempt fate, especially if I wanted to stick to my plan.

He looked at me and, I swear, read my mind. "No. I don't think I'm in the mood for a party tonight."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

We stepped off of the elevator at the top and then made our way down the quiet hall. He stopped at a door and then motioned with his hand to the next one. "Right there. The one next to mine, like I said."

I had stopped walking with him and studied him closely in the hallway light. Something about him looked different, and I had a feeling that it was due to everything that he had told me. It had turned him serious, and it was so unlike him that I felt bad for bringing it up.

"I'm sorry."

He looked surprised. "For what?"

"For talking about all of those things… it seems like it upset you."

He shook his head and stepped closer. " _Thank you_ for letting me talk about those things. I never talk about it anymore and I think I need to, every now and then. I don't ever want to forget. I… I appreciate you listening."

"Anytime."

Again, he seemed surprised. Stepping just a little closer, so that there was hardly any space between our bodies at all, he whispered, "Do you really mean that?"

And I really did. "Yes."

"Well, there _is_ one more thing I really need to say."

I could practically taste his breath. It was making me dizzy. "What's that?"

He moved his head just a little bit closer, just a breath away. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"You want to know something?" I murmured, feeling control slip out of my body. It was like that night at the Rockefeller Center, when it had felt like a different me was the one kissing Adrian. A bolder, more adventurous me. And I really, really liked her, I decided.

"I like knowing things," he said by way of agreement.

I leaned just the tiniest bit closer. His lips were _right there_. "I really want to let you."

 **(Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN)**

It was all over.

Ever so gently, Adrian pressed his lips against mine, a small taste. His hand came up to rest against my face and the other one wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to close the distance between us. I rested my hands against his chest and sighed into the kiss.

 _The plan…_ some annoying part of my brain whispered and I completely ignored it. Who could care about some stupid eighth grade plan when Adrian was kissing me like I was the only thing in the world that had ever mattered to him?

The kiss had started out so gentle, but it quickly transformed into more, until it had lit a wildfire inside of me that only Adrian could extinguish. He kissed me harder, pulling me somehow tighter against him, and then backed up, pulling me with him. Suddenly, without understanding how, we were inside of his room and I was pushing the door closed behind us. He pressed me up against the closed door and continued to kiss me, burying his hands in my hair. I did the same and loved how soft his hair felt beneath my fingers.

Any part of me that would have objected and tried to remind me of the stupid eighth grade plan had been silenced by the intensity of Adrian's kisses. Over and over again he kissed me and I knew that I would never tire of the taste of him. Of the way that he was holding me. Of the way that his body felt pressed against mine.

I was cursing myself for not staying with him at the Rockefeller Center. Why had I wasted so much time resisting him and fleeing from my feelings? I could have been doing _this_ the whole time. I felt so stupid.

His mouth moved to my neck and I gasped at the tingling sensation that I felt shooting down my body. God, he made something so simple feel so good.

"Your phone is ringing," he said against my skin as he continued to pepper kisses down my neck, moving towards my collarbone.

As his words sank in, I came out of my pleasure haze long enough to realize that he was right. My phone was ringing in my pocket. And I didn't care in the least. "Leave it. I don't care."

He pressed his lips to mine again, seeming pleased about my response. He wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me in a half circle, setting me down and then tearing his T-shirt over his head and throwing it onto the floor before grabbing my face and kissing me, hard. I could taste his tongue and, while the idea had used to gross me out, I loved the feeling, the taste, the sensation.

He started to walk, steering me backwards, towards the doorway off to the side. I knew from mine and Jill's suite that his bedroom was probably through there, and I turned out to be right. But I didn't have time to look around and see how similar it was to mine and Jill's suite, because he was still kissing me as he steered me towards the bed.

As soon as my knees hit the frame, I let myself fall backwards and that must have surprised Adrian because he barely caught himself before crushing me. As it was, his body was pressed tightly to mine. I didn't mind. I laughed.

He grinned. "Quite a close call."

"Not close enough," I replied, placing a hand behind his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

 _Since when did I become flirty?_ I'd never tried flirting before, so I didn't have any experience, but I had always kind of assumed that I would be bad at it because of the lack of practice. I was glad to see that I wasn't completely awful, at least.

My hands ran over Adrian's bare back, rubbing against the warm, smooth muscle he had there. I'd never pegged him for the kind of guy that worked out, but he obviously did. Not like a body builder, but enough to keep in very good shape. He looked very good with his shirt off.

When his fingers traced my bare stomach and then began to pull my shirt up, I broke away, propping myself up on my elbows. Both of us were breathing hard, faces still close together.

"What's wrong?" he asked me. "Too much? Too fast?"

Strangely, it was neither of those things. "I just… um…" I felt my face flame. "Never mind. I just…"

He cupped my face with one hand and looked at me, full of concern. "What is it? Do you feel okay?"

"It's nothing."

"Talk to me." His voice was somehow commanding and pleading at the same time.

"I've never done anything like this before." The burn in my cheeks got more intense and I figured I was probably bright red.

"I figured." If he noticed my blushing, he didn't show it.

"I'm just…" _So embarrassing_. "I'm nervous. I don't think I'll be… good."

Surprise flitted across his face and then he shook his head. "You're amazing. And you _will be_ amazing. But if you want to stop, I'm okay with that, too."

 _No. Don't stop_. There wasn't a single part of me that wanted to protest that this wasn't part of the plan. I wanted him so badly. "I don't want to stop. Maybe just… go slow?" Was that something that women requested, or was that weird? I felt stupid for not knowing.

But he didn't seem to find it stupid or weird. Instead, he nodded solemnly. "Of course. There's no need to rush, anyway. We have all night."

The words sent shivers down my spine, as did the kiss that he followed them up with. It grew in intensity, until I was practically melting in his arms. I never wanted him to stop kissing me like that. I could have stayed frozen in that moment forever.

True to his word, he took everything slowly, giving me time to adjust to each new stage and with each article of clothing that was removed, I felt more and more certain that I was making the right decision. In fact, no other decision that I had ever made – including accepting the scholarship to Columbia – had ever felt as right as that one, in that suite at the Animal Kingdom resort with Adrian.

He was gentle and sweet and intense… everything that I ever could have wanted for a first time.

Everything about it as… Well… It was absolutely perfect.

Afterwards, he pulled me into his arms and wrapped the covers tightly around us. We talked softly and kissed often, and it was _almost_ as blissful as what we had been doing only moments before. Everything about the evening had been more than perfect. I wouldn't have changed a single thing.

And, for the first time since I had arrived in Orlando, I didn't have a problem falling asleep.

And when I dreamed, it was of a certain chestnut-haired young man with emerald eyes and the sweetest kisses.

I had never been so happy to be alive.


End file.
